Besides Everything.

I know the full truth, But I still want "us"

I know it will never work the way i want it 

But i still want to try it with you my beloved

I know it will never be easy on me neither would you

But I still want to fight for you as much as i can.

 

I know you will never feel the same about my heart

Still I never want us to be apart

I know it would be a war, a game for you and it will be hard

But it will give you the privilege of winning even if I had a bomb from the start.

 

I know everything will be fine one day

But to me, it is never fine when you don't say hey!

I know that life will turn its wheel of fortune when we say hooray

And we will end up just like yesterday.

 

I know my love for you will stay along decades

Just like willow trees getting aids

My heart will always love you with all the given blades

But it will stay there no matter how hard it gets.

 

And I will always love the beautiful eyes you own

I will always love the tan skin you have

And I will always love the person you are 

Forever and Always my love

Author's Note

After being in love with the same person for about a year and a half, I realized that I have that phobia of losing him, I don't know why. But I need an answer .
Google can't give me the answer, neither my diary book nor him. I can't find the answer within myself, so I think there is no truth !.. anyways, if any of you have an idea about it, just suggest it please, i would like to know, and if any of you have faced such thing before .

Thank you so much for your time. Love you all xoxo

Reviews

[Avinash]

Insecurities are part and parcel of love. But all you need is take an honest look at yourself and ask if you are not doing what you are fearing from your lover. I may sound little harsh here but that is how I dealt with my insecurities. Without evidence there is nothing to fear..about anything.

[Einstein Noodle]

your note is more revealing than your heartfelt poem .. sending you love and concern girl! check your mail ok?!
E.

[Tai Ryens]

Even despite the pain that seems to hide in between the lines of this piece, I still notice the subtle existence of closure in this piece; the willingness to move on even despite the misery that you must have lived through in order to be able to write this piece. Closure, and the acceptance that some part of you will always love the person in question.

Lovely piece, Stars, keep it up.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when things are going too well, i get that phobia too...from past experiences, too many times it didn't work out, so we wait for the other shoe to drop.

[Chris]

A strong and thoughtful piece.

[ANTO]

Its not phobia I dont think but it may be psychological issue - google "abandonment issues" dear writer.
As for the poetry - I think its wonderful and had you not highlighted the issue in the author's notes then I would nto have got that impression from the writing. To me its fine and lovely writing.
God Bless Suhad

[stars are far]

Thank you very muc foryour time.
That thing might be true for a certain extant, yet I dont think i was abandoned in my life ,i mean I dunno how it can be.
God bless you Anto.. :)

[ANTO]

its not as a result of being abandoned but rather as a result of having too close a bond I think

[R Smith]

if you truly believe he is worth the fight then fight on but really if his heart is in it then there should be no fight, you must prove to yourself that he loves you, how do you do that, i really don't know, i've always given up if it aint working move on but its up to you and i can feel your love in your words and i hope it works out as you would wish it to, best wishes to you :)

[stars are far]

Richard, I think that it is not worth the fight, because I'm in the battle alone, fighting for someone who is against me , i guess! , And i think that if i fought for million years nothing will change, some stuff are not meant to be, but you still feel like it is not the truth and that is not destiny, maybe because we are human and we always want life to be the way we want it to be, or maybe because we are too weak to face the reality that is always against what we wish for. And trust me if i had the choice,like the total choice, that would be true in a blink of an eye, i would chose moving on, because i think that this is turing to be so unhealthy. And thank you for you comment, and allow me to say, you did great choice by giving up on things that would never work, because if you did you would be trying to escape water in the middle of the ocean. And thank you Richard

[Leslie Philibert]

Fear of losing a relationship is only natural up to a certain point ; if extreme. it shows you value yourself too little, do not trust yourself ( my idea !)

[armin]

If you have phobia of losing him then put a stop on this relationship. It means you don't have trust on him ,try to make the things right for one two and even five times and if the things are still messed up then it clearly means you are not destined to be his lover. You are made for someone else. True love doesn't cast things like phobia, blames and fights. I know problems are there in every relationship but you both have walk like wheels of a train and if anyone of you tremors then it shakes your relation.

Your friend Spidey (armin. ..)

[stars are far]

Armin. Thank you for you words. ♥

[SleeplessVolcano]

Powerful emotions.......though to answer your question, why would he not feel the same? Is that true, or just your perception? Is your fear of losing him based on fact, or only your imagination?

[stars are far]

It is a fact. Any suggestions ?

[SleeplessVolcano]

Mmmm....that is a tough one.....I do not want to give superficial suggestions, but a little piece of "Dr Phil-sounding-advice" I once heard was that a man should love the woman more than what the woman loves the man.....purely for the sake that a man's heart is more prone to stray....he should be totally captivated by his love.....anything less than total captivation leaves a door open, for either having a stale love, or a straying eye. i do not want to sound negative, but it sounds as if you love him more.....which, I concede is just a superficial observation, but I do believe it holds some truth. To be single is better than being in the wrong relationship.

[stars are far]

Thank you for your words :)