Ne jamais

Filled with nothing and full of wanting

Something, anything to keep me from breaking.

 

I shy away from what I know I need

Just to be faced with endless hope.

It's becoming increasingly difficult to breathe

I only smile and nod and aimlessly float.

 

It's a trickling of the minutes

A broken measurement of hours.

It's looking forward, pushing myself

A useless securing of any one else.

 

How the shine of sun rises and sun sets

Have nothing but reminders of regrets.

Only living is a curse sending its pulse through my chest.

 

It's the monotony of every day

Of everything ending in just the same way

Of the rip of the tides as they fall and rise.

 

This is where I begin to fade.

To stop chasing my yesterday.

No more looking to the past

Or stepping forward with my mask.

 

Even though I know with certainty

That I wear my fake me flawlessly.