untitled entry

Stuck in the blackest of blue-im still tangled up in you-my insecurities are real-and im afraid to feel-still see you across the way-there is a murder to all my days-i still want you in my life-"I do" and you'll still be my wife-Shell my heart away-its just how i feel today-Im afraid-cant escape-and i hate-find me somewhere close-I will be your ghost-swinging in the balance of two worlds in collision-i try to divide these moods-and my inspiration tool is broken-i choke on all my words-but its still you that i deserve-cant smile all the time-im fighting for myself and im blind by mental things that pick and pull these strings-and i need to let you in to wash away my sins-i cant tell you not to hold on to these things i say to you-im just blue when you are bright and it gets harder as i escape in to night-be here by my side and show me whats still mine-dont you say goodbye until we see whats on the otherside-this is my writing attempt and im not sure what to say-these are our days-and im not willing to throw away our place in this world

Reviews

[Michael X]

if you could remove the cliche for original ideas and spruce up the form, this would be abstract and dynamic, it seems dull and a bit explaining, opt for power words and this writing would be awsome,
though its not bad at all, and the talent is there, perhaps give it more time and sincere thought