No Magic Anymore

Leaving magical thoughts behind to face the reality of what is true and real in relationships

I've left my lover so true as it was,

for happiness that is free and will let me be

I am a tired woman full of sadness every day

that feels she pulls a hard cart with no pay

life is good though, full of riches,

pleasing to the eye thats for sure.

but my heart lays heavy day after day

of a man that brings me no gay

He is a man of no words,

his wall to me is high

we didn't make it through

as I thought we would FLY,

I was sure we would fly,

like some god gifted magical couple

that was born to be together

my magical thinking like this

has for sure brought me more

of this pain that I thought possible. 

I was sure God made us for each other

His love went a few years ago

and my trying ended a couple ago

The feeling of being special to someone is now just a flee

feeling now old tethered and used for pro creation

is all I am left for.

He drinks to the bottle too much 

although no damage is done 

his walls go high;

his life is on another world now

mine is too.

Who would of thought life would turn this way.

My life is of dreamy places;

over looking lakes, with mist over the top

thoughts on paper and coffee shops.

Markets and people near by;

writers, explorers and artists 

i am 34 now, a young enough women

to stop believing in magic

or being the ‘nice girl,’ 

I dont want to be seen as a divorcee,

A failure, a woman who is thought of as bad

I cant handle that, I think;

but reality sets in.

The picture was painted a long time ago,

of a girl and boy

who thought that they did know

true love knocked on their door once,

they opened and embraced

but love has over stayed its welcome,

It know sits around like a slob, with a belly

beer in hand, no pants on and remote in hand; 

with a sad lonely woman in the next door, 

Im a sad tethered woman who is looking to feel free, and to be me,

the woman in the house were the sun shine gentle 

where the rain falls and wind blows in winter

the window that shows the big old trees,

the artists, and explorers meet for coffee

learning of a future that bewilders the memories 

Oh help me have the strength dear Lord to

stop believing in magic

please give me my house I love so dear

to share with family and friends

please grant me pure love that helps me to grow

a soft love that gives pleasure and sows

I want to sow too,

and give pleasure as well

sensuality and love all the way

I can make a home for us to share

one where thickness of hate is not in the air

please grant me the strength, bring me a miracle Lord

I am desperate for advise;

I no longer want to live year after year unhappy no more

nor do i wish to make a family tear apart with hate

but I have tried now too much Lord and I watch him depart more and more,

will i be the fool in the end because I cannot hear you,
because I have no strength to pull away;

because I believe in this magic of love ?

I am getting old now, my looks are fading, my body has pro created and my heart is longing so much for a love that pleases my heart

I want to still travel the world

I want to show the world to the kids

Lord I would love finances that keep my life afloat, 

please i beg you to bless me financially lord

bless me with a a love that pleases my heart

that brings happiness to me and my life

I have learnt that magic doesn't not exist in this world

but in my heart 

but i beg you dear lord to look upon me, 

please don't forget me, while I live upon this earth

I live once, I know, I wish to see and feel all I can 

bad and good, 

but when I go through my bad 

I ask you give me the strength that I need to get through

with a renewed strength and confidence that carried me through

bring people into my life at the right time Lord and help me to be open to them

I am human here and I am calling upon you Lord.

Please hear my cry and work out the plan ahead of me

My days are dark, my heart is heavy, my mind is restless of the future.

My dreams are making me tired, I am fresh with so many ideas

ground me Lord and give me your strength to find my way through.

Author's Note

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