How it all started

As i've sat down today to write about my story i dont expect people to read it or learn something from it because i believe i've done nothing that could teach anyone how to live life. The truth is nobody can ever teach you how to live life, how to love, how to heal a broken heart because all these things just happen and nobody and nothing can teach you how to go through all of this without pain.
I've always been a shy and an introvert one and growing up in an all girls school had a major contribution to my shyness.I had a group of friends and thats it that was my world and i taught myself how to be happy in it.Although I had a lot crushes but never had the courage to go upto them, let alone confessing I couldnt even talk to them. Lot of my friends had boyfriends and sometimes it did make me question "is there something wrong with me?"
But i had convinced myself that this is how its going to be and there is nothing i can do about it as I'm not good enough or pretty enough for any good looking guy out there.
When i started my college my level of insecurities lit up like a Christmas tree, so many beautiful girls around and cherry on the cake being my college had the cutest guys ever.I sometimes felt like hiding in some corner or running away from all this.It felt like everybody was out of my league and nobody even gave me a second look, I mean why would they.
I used to daydream of having a perfect guy who is good looking, caring, loving and all those cheesy dipped in chocolate words. Thats the beauty of our imagination it makes us have all the things in the world, if you think about it our imagination is like a fairy godmother who gives us everything our heart desires but when the reality hits you POOOFFF!! Everything vanishes.
One day I met a guy named karan he was a mutual friend and everybody in my group had a big crush on him, he had the most amazing smile ever, it could light up anybody's day.
The moment i met him i told myself "see kyra, keep your s**t together and dont scare him away with your weird behavior"
We all started hanging out everyday and it came as no surprise that all of my friends started drooling over him.As far as I was concerned the more i spoke to him the more i got to know about him i fell for him more.
At the back of my mind i knew that its never going to happen, he was the most beautiful guy i had even seen and me on the other hand an average looking girl who had never even kissed a guy ever in her life.So that day I decided that I am not going to torture myself anymore and Im going to ignore any contact with him.
Since we became a group we all used to hang out almost all the time, we used to have night outs and sleepovers and what not. Ignoring him was i agree was a very difficult job with all the nasty discussion my friends used to have about him and with him being around me all the time.
However I always thought that hes hardly going to notice since i felt that he had something for my bestie.So without thinking much I burried all my feeling deep down and continued with my life.
One day It was a cold night of december, karan threw all of us a party at his place, I without giving much thought threw on my black legging, my oversized sweater and my warm fuzzy boots and I went to the party. Time passed and I genuinely was having a good time.
It was i think 3 in the morning everybody had slept.I was having trouble sleeping, so without waking up anybody i went up to the roof. It was freezing but something about that night felt right. It was all calm and quiet. All of sudden somebody called my named from behind, it was karan.
"What are you doing up here so late?" He said
Lost in his beautiful eyes forgetting all the promises i made to my self in that moment i smiled at him like a dumb potato and said
"I couldnt sleep"
I said that and i turned around turning my back towards him.
In that moment something happened that i never in my life thought would happen to me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me a little towards him.
" why have you been ignoring me?" He said very softly
"No, thats not true" I said
"Did i do something to hurt you?" His voice was so soft that i could barely hear it
"It hurts me watching you talk to everybody but me, eveytime i try to talk to you, you make some stupid excuse to escape" 
I tried to say something but before i could i put his finger on my lips.
"You think i dont notice that? But do you notice anything?"
"What?" I said 
"You make me fall for you everyday, are you seriously not aware of that? Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?"
"is this a prank" I said confused
"I'm in love with you kyra and i've been in love with you since the day i laid my eyes on you" he said 
I stood there wondering if everything that was  happening in that moment was true or just my mere imagination...
How can a guy like him can ever fall for a girl like me??!