What Remains

The aftermath of a motorway crash
Swept to the side of the road
So's to allow normality to continue
Petrol, paint and dark grey ash
Surround torn and twisted sinew.

No-one around this late at night,
silence remains - and frames
the lasting imprint of devastation gone before.
A scene of destruction, snuffed out light.
Lives we can never restore.

Twisted metal contorted around
bent and broken structure
where bloody tarmac meets the grass.
Shimmering over tarnished ground
are razor-like shards of glass . . .

Disaster replays around my head
and though I'll never understand
what these people just went through
the true extent of pain and dread,
turns my thoughts to me and you.

Reviews

[Adam Jordan Turner]

Wow, this is pretty intense. Pretty amazing. Very good write, I enjoyed it!

[Samith Pich]

this could have easily been a puff peice, espeically with the rhyming scheme but you manage well to keep the tone taunt and real - well done. i guess the strength of this poem lies in the fact that readers can connect with the writer with this peice, it's simplicity cuts through.

you seem to hurry towards the ending which i think dissapates the energy of an otherwise strong poem, perhaps symbolic of the writer's resignation to his fate or non-willingness to confront the charade?

[Annelise]

This is quite painful to read, but you did a lovely job portraying the emotions.


"But I can still talk
And seem like I'm fine
Help with your problems
While you ignore mine"

This stanza describes what I happen to be going through at the momnt. Not the in love with my friend thing, but just this stanza in general. I like your writing, there are no frills, just emotion.

[Just Manoosh]

Now this is beautiful, not only in structure but in content. I know what it is to live a lie so appreciate this all the more. Very lovely indeed, a simple and wonderful piece. Mx

[Tai Chi Italy]

Love is a painful journey Jon, Unrequited love the most painful of the variations, but you will find equally matched joy to your despair along the way, I promise you. Wonderful expression, smiling at you, Tai

[Raef C. Boylan]

The rhyming seemed quite natural and purposeful, as opposed to lazy or corny, which is a lovely surprise to get from a piece.

Quite a sad piece; it seems that the narrator is being treated by someone he loves as just a friend, maybe getting used in the process...and now the friendship isn't even real, because anger and love - "Strange schizophrenia" - is distorting it all for the narrator.
Yet the narrator is going to stick by this person.
I guess love does conquer all, or whatever the saying is.

"For me its too late" (it's)
"Because its so real" (it's)

Thanks for sharing this with me.

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

how bittersweet... it actually reminds me of a love my daughter has for her bestfriend,,, and he is moving and she is so heartbroken.

[Brette Medb]

Wow...it's weird that so many people go through the same things and feel the same tumultuous emotions...I really think this would sound awesome as a song.....great write!


Blessed Be

[O!]

This brought tears to my eyes Jon........:-(

uve written this so beautifully and o love the rhyme and how it flowed and ESPECIALLY how u showed ur emotions.......so strong, so powerful.....i want to HUG YOU..........HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.......

this is going to my faves.......

aaaaawwwwwww.........London isnt too far away....and will be coming there.....and will give u a hug when i do......till then...u have me as a friend!!

tc

xxxxx
O!

[Poeticpiers]

you encapsulate only too well the feelings of real love that goes unreciprocated I like your style