a short story.

bad title i know I'll change it when i think of a better one. this is for school. first short story I've ever finished.

 

 

“DRAMA!’ Yelled Becky. “Why am I always in the middle of it?!?!?” 

“Because you put yourself there” replied her friend Tasha, flipping her long, dark brown, hair over her shoulder, As they were walking down the street toward there favorite deli in town.

“Yeah, but this time it’s different”

“Oh yeah, how?” asked Tasha.

“Because, it just is.” Becky said in her whiny voice as she pulled open the door that weighed about ten pounds. They ordered their usual, turkey sandwich for Becky and roast beef for Tasha. And two root beers.  

“Right, it’s different, just like every other time” Tasha pointed out as she rolled her eyes; and sat down in their usual booth

 “Ok, I’ll bite what happened?” Tasha said knowing she would regret it.

 “Ok, so Jordan tells Brian that I still like him when I clearly don’t! Then Ashley goes and tells Bobby that I like Jordan, and Brian comes up to me, like I’m cheating on him and starts totally chewing me out. And I’m like I broke up with you last week Brian and he’s like, but we’re still kinda together right? and I’m like move on Brian. And he walks off in a huff like he thought I was just gonna jump in his arms again.” she sighs and take a huge breath about to start again when Tasha stops her

“Whoa there motor mouth, calm down. One: I didn’t catch half of that, and two: you have no idea how many things were wrong with that story.” “If you can call it that” she murmured under her breath. Taking a bite of her roast beef.

“I heard that” Becky said pointedly. “Ugh how can you stand roast beef” Becky said with disgust.

“The same way you stand your turkey” Tasha mocked. They both laughed and finished their meals and headed home for the night.

 

That night Tasha was working on her homework when her mind started to wander towards Becky and all her drama, how her life seemed so simple and hers was so different. How they had stayed friends through middle school no one knew. Becky was popular; Tasha was, well, not. Becky was a blonde haired, blue eyed, cheerleader who fulfilled every stereotype there was.  Tasha tried her best to defy all rules and be as different as possible. The only thing “normal” about her was her hair, for the longest time she wanted to dye her hair neon green but her dad being, Mr. Conservative, threatened to cut all her hair off if she did. Tasha dwelled on this thought for a moment as she laid down in her pink and black bed. Sometimes Tasha wished she could be more like Becky, and then she came back to all her punk senses.

She had been punk for so long she almost can’t remember a time before it, but her mom never seems to let it go. Wanting her to be little again she gets, but does her mom have to want to change who she is?  She knew her mom wanted a daughter more like Becky and always seemed disappointed when Becky was the one to leave. Tasha heard her mom calling her for dinner but fell asleep instead of trying to get up.

 

The next day at school during first period English, Mr. Garry was facing the blackboard, when Tasha felt the familiar tap on her shoulder, Becky was passing her a note. She took the note slyly and opened it.

 

Why weren’t you in front of the school this morning?

                         Becky

 

Oh yeah, Tasha almost said out loud. They always met in the mornings at the bulletin board to walk to English together, but today she had slept in, which was a sort of a phenomenon because she fell asleep early. She wrote back and told Becky the story. Handing it to her at the perfect moment when Mr. Garry wasn’t looking. Then Tasha looked at her and shrugged, Becky just rolled her eyes.

When English was over Tasha caught up with Becky and told her she was sorry. Becky just laughed it off and told her it was fine. But Tasha had a feeling it wasn’t.

Later that week Becky didn’t show up at the board and when Tasha asked her what happen Becky simply replied,” I slept in I guess, sorry,” and shrugged as they parted ways for second period.

 

That weekend Tasha called Becky to ask if she wanted to go to the deli. But Becky sounded strangely cold; as she told her she had other plans. Tasha tried to ask her about what was going on but Becky avoided the questions and told Tasha her mom was calling her. Funny thing was Tasha could swear she heard giggling in the background and Becky shushing as she hung up.

 

All the next week Tasha could have sworn Becky was avoiding her. But when she told her mom, she just shrugged it off and said “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

That Saturday Tasha confronted Becky, “hey, are you avoiding me?”

Becky looked at the ground as she said “well, i..i..it’s just that, you see…”

Becky was obviously struggling to say whatever she had to say.

 “oh just spit it out!’ exclaimed Tasha.

“You’re ruining my reputation’ Becky practically spat at her “you’re a freak!” She yelled.

Tasha took a step back; she had been called a freak before but never by Becky, not even jokingly. But Becky didn’t stop there. “You walk around in torn up clothes and earrings in every place possible I’m surprised you don’t leak! People talk about you behind your back you know.” Tasha knew, but had never fully admitted it to her self.

Becky kept going even though she knew she was hurting Tasha’s feelings made obvious by the tears that were streaming down her face uncontrollably. When Becky had finished she took a deep breath and looked away. She said one last thing before she left “listen we had a great time while it lasted, but I can’t be your friend anymore or people will start thinking I’m like you’ and she walked away.

Tasha stood there and watched Becky walk away. She wouldn’t run away until Becky was gone, she wouldn’t show weakness, not now. As soon as Tasha could no longer see Becky she ran as fast as she could to her house.

 

Tasha went immediately to her room, slammed her door, and fell on her bed weeping. Her mom knocked on the door, “go away!” she yelled. But, of course, her mom came in anyway.

‘Honey are you ok?” her mom asked.

“Oh yes I’m fine, I lie on my bed and cry for fun.” Tasha said sarcastically.

 “Ok, ok, put the claws away. What happened?” Her mom prodded

Tasha hated opening up to her mom it was pretty hard to be an angsty punk when your mom is all supportive.

Tasha sighed “Becky called me a freak.” She admitted.

“Oh no.” Tasha’s mom half whispered, half breathed. “I’m sure she didn’t mean it” her mom tried to comfort her.

“I’m pretty sure she meant it.” Tasha said rolling on her side looking at her mom. “After telling me I’m a freak, she told me she doesn’t want to be friends anymore because people will think she’s like me.” Tasha could tell her mom didn’t know what to say.

“Well, when you finish crying, dinners ready” her mom said as she walked out of her room.

“When you’re done crying, dinner is ready, well she always knows what to say” Tasha murmured to herself. That night Tasha didn’t come down for dinner but when she went to take a shower a bowl of soup was waiting for her outside of her door, she knew her dad had brought it up because he left a note with it that said

 

Sorry about Becky, hope you feel better.

                              

                DAD

 

Tasha smiled; dad always knew how to make her feel better. She ate the soup, took a shower and went to bed.

When she woke up the next Monday she knew it was going to be a hard day. By the time she got to English every one knew what had happened, obviously Becky couldn’t keep her mouth shut. As it turned out, Becky was the person keeping everyone from making fun of her to her face before now, because today as she walked down the hall snickers and calls of “freak-a-zooid”, rang through her ears. By the time Tasha got to lunch she was about to break down.

As she got her tray of food, she realized she was walking toward her normal table where she used to sit with Becky, She stopped; she didn’t know where to sit. Finally she decided to sit on the bleachers where all the other loners sat.

 

After school a girl with black hair and green eyes, wearing combat boots, knee socks, a plaid skirt, and a skull and crossbones T-shirt. Walked right up to Tasha.

“Hi, my name is Amber.” she said with unexpected pep.

 “I’m Tasha” She said cautiously.

As they started walking and talking Tasha thought to herself “maybe living without Becky won’t be so bad after all”

  

 

 

 

 THE END.

 

Author's Note

this i WANT you to correct grammar *shock* my mom/teacher. wants this to be grammatically correct. do you like the last paragraph at the end?

Reviews

[Hannah!]

I like the beginning a lot. Tasha's response to Becky's question ("Drama! Why am I always in the middle of it?!") made me laugh out loud, because I could completely see myself saying that to one of my overly dramatic friends. I loved Becky's story--so typically high school cheerleader, teen drama at its best, and very authentically told. Above all, I really like the way that they're just friends--their relationship is so well established and comfortable, you do a really good job of making this deep sense of trust and loyalty come through.

After that, I have mixed feelings about the story. I'm wishing you'd kept Tasha and Becky friends, not only because I think Tasha deserved better than all that, but also because their friendship was an interesting note in the story. As much as I'd like to deny it, popular kids do typically stick with their own clique, and it was pretty cool that Becky hadn't abandoned Tasha. I did like the way you started to go about it--almost as if Becky was looking for any excuse to be mad at Tasha, to sort of ease her own conscience. I wish you'd followed through with that sentiment to the end; Becky's "goodbye" speech to Tasha seems out of character and highly out of place when considering the relationship you'd previously established between the two of them. It's fairly realistic that Becky would wish to sever ties with a girl who was ruining her reputation, but the way she severs ties seems strange. There's no guilt, no shame--and I feel like there should be, because in those first few paragraphs, you made it clear that they were close. For that reason, I have a hard time believing that Becky would do this in the first place (but then, I have never played into the high school popularity scene, and so her motives are completely alien to me), and her way of going about it takes away any realism that might have been there. Although, I guess it would make things easier if she reacted angrily rather than admitting to herself that she was doing something wrong... Maybe start off with guilt and build into the angry, "I practically hate you" emotions Becky later expresses? I love Becky's half-hearted apology at the end of this segment, by the way. It redeems Becky a bit, in my eyes--it proves that she knows what she's doing is wrong. I just think there should be more of it.

The scene with Tasha's parents is good; I like it because of the awkwardness it carries. Tasha's mom doesn't know what to say, so she doesn't even try. It's pretty cool. And I like Tasha's dad's note. It made me smile a little bit, because I could see one of my parents doing something like that to cheer me up. Except my dogs would probably eat the soup.

The next day...I don't know about how well Amber's introduction to Tasha was executed. Seems like Tasha should spend a few days in solitude--sort of wallowing in self-pity--to give enough time for the rumor mill to make it obvious even to outsiders what was going on between Tasha and her former best friend--even if she DID look like them, wouldn't the other loners regard her with a certain amount of mistrust? It also made me wonder: Didn't Tasha have any friends besides Becky? And if so, why wasn't this mentioned before--seems like a pretty important point. You're also flirting with the abyss that is a clich� here. People who look alike don't have to congregate. It's probably just my own bias--I'm never happy when stories make it seem like two very different people can't be friends (though I suppose that is life, and not just a clich�. People are, above all, lazy, and it's much, much easier to befriend people who you suspect will be similar to you. I guess I do it myself). Also, I'm a bit inclined to wonder why Amber didn't introduce herself at lunch, but that's easy enough to explain in a number of different ways.

Personally, I think the last paragraph was unnecessary, and was a rather silly way to end the story. It has a completely different tone than the rest of the story, and really isn't needed after the last line. I think the introduction of Amber and Tasha's reassuring thoughts tie the story together just fine. Don't underestimate your readers: The majority of them will be able to guess that Tasha isn't going to die because of Becky's meanness--but of course she'll always miss her old friend. Like I've mentioned before, you do such an excellent job of establishing a comfortable friendship at the beginning that the whole rest of the story is tainted with it. The explanation isn't really necessary at all.

Wow. Sorry that this review is so ridiculously long. All in all, I really did like the story. I liked Becky the best, in spite of the mean thing she did to Tasha. You did a good job with her--she made me giggle.

Grammar mistakes, I will point out in notes. Good work!

[thecoolone52]

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