forever

me and alphonse

Good things never last.
They'll all become the past.
It'll leave you with a broken heart.
And you'll neve want to drift apart.
Love will come and go,
This I know.
I've learned the hard way,
The more you fall, the more you'll have to pay.
Love is like a bird who is just beginning to fly.
But soon enough the love will die.
Pick up the pieces and just move on.
You'll soon realize that it all is gone.
And with time you feel better.
But remember, love doesn't last forever.

Reviews

[Luna Northstar]

beautiful!!!

[Punk rocker]

i like it 2 thumbs up

[Kia-chan!]

oh, man! this is a wake up call to me! A sighn from the heavens! Oh my god! I can't believe I did'nt notice this before! Aww! i'm such a stupid head! you're right. Your poem is right. Thank you for righting such a wake up call. I was nothing but a fool in love, until I read this poem. Wow....I'm so shameful....
But thank you for helping me realize that I have to forget about him, and move on :)

[Emunah June.]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 STARS STARS STARS STARS STARS!!

[NoAirToBreatheXSuffocat..]

Wow Corryn Amazing , 5 stars Woot!

[deeps]

I like this write here. makes one think.
Very well written and expressed.

[C.J.G.]

I love to essence of this poem. The one thing I have to say is it is a bit sing-songish, maybe break-up the rhyme scheme a little? Otherwise, very, very well writing.

[MJ Durston]

Overall, well done! You got your point across without failing to show us how you feel. I like that you combined the idea of things getting better, with the concept that nothing lasts forever.

Something bad: Grammar mistake; Line 4, should be "never" It's an easy fix. I didn't like the simile, "Love is like a bird who is just beginning to fly" just because, you're view of love in this poem is that it doesn't last forever, so your killing that bird, basically it's beginning to fly and then it falls and dies. I think that's an unrealistic simile for this poem, maybe in a poem where your seeing love as something thats new and beautiful and innocent. Not so much doomed.

Something Good: It flowed beautifully, I agree with a lot of things said in your poem even though my view of love is the complete opposite. Things do end, things do become the past. Not necessarily love - but we all move on. I like that it was short, sometimes longer poems fail to get to the point and end up jumbled and chaotic. Yours was simple, but there was beauty in the simplicity.

Keep Writing,
Melissa.