hey you.

hey you.

A Poem by taylorgriffin.
"

this is just a rant.

"
ask me what's up. 
"what's up?"
my ceiling and it's caving in
these thoughts and feelings have no end
like falling through a deep abyss
the days these day are hit and miss
but like a rabbit in the snow
ill lie and wait but then i'll go
from all the things that i once feared
and i wont stop until i'm in the clear
but i promise you dad 
that i wont become what you became 
because i have these dreams
and i wont stop until they become reality
and i don't need drugs
to give the things i say anymore substance then they already have
and the more i think the more it makes me mad
because all you have to do is open your ears and listen to what i have to say
and maybe the things i say can brighten up your day
or maybe they could change the way you live and pray
or maybe, just maybe they could make you feel indifferent
and you can pop those pills
and you can smoke that weed
and i'll sit back 
and watch you recede 
into that empty shell of the person you used to be

© 2010 taylorgriffin.


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Reviews

wow. you just like explained my life and how i feel. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Amazingly written..Great meaning and It's deep..I really like it..

Posted 9 Years Ago


I like this poem!
"my ceiling and it's caving in
these thoughts and feelings have no end
like falling through a deep abyss"

My favorite lines, as well as the last four lines at the end.
You have fantastic, haunting ideas. I feel as though, however, your ideas grow much farther than the whole rhyme scheme that you've presented in a couple of your poems, have you ever tried getting away from it? Try one, maybe you'll find yourself writing marvelous things with no constrictions.
Great job :)


Posted 9 Years Ago


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. brilliantly written and presented ... very moving too ... those dreams are the best thing to happen to anybody ...

Posted 9 Years Ago


very lyrical

Posted 9 Years Ago



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359 Views
5 Reviews
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Added on November 6, 2010
Last Updated on November 6, 2010
Tags: drugs, substance, straightedge, poetry, father, abyss, fears, dreams, reality, pray, indifferent, weed, pills, recede, empty, shell

Author

taylorgriffin.
taylorgriffin.

stanton, CA



About
i am taylor. i write songs. more..

Writing