Eyes (revised)

Eyes (revised)

A Poem by Talia

Let me close my eyes
Just one more night
You hold me tight
To stop my cries

Sorry I’m going nowhere
Hanging on my last prayer
You dry away my tears
Pushing through the years

And my mind dies
But my heart flies

I open my eyes
For the hundredth time
I know life isn’t fare
But your still there

Sorry if it’s been too long
If you want to run along
But you promise me
You’ll never leave

And my mind dies
But my heart flie

Look me in the eyes
Go past the fails and tries
Tell me what you see
The places I want to be

Sorry If you sense my lies
You can see it in my eyes
Only trying to save you
From a mind that’s so blue

And my mind dies
But my heart flies

You see my flooded eyes
Matching the bluest skies
You pull me close
When I need it most

Sorry it’s been a hard life
I can’t tell you what it’s like
Sorry I have a beaten soul
But you always make me whole

Sorry I’m going nowhere
Hanging on my last prayer
Sorry it’s been a rough year
But you are always here

And my mind dies
But my heart flies

But we close our eyes
For one last time
And we will be alright
If only for tonight










- [ ]

© 2019 Talia


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Reviews

That two-line bit near the end NEEEEEDS to be a refrain!!!! And the way you seeped it into the last stanza NEEEEEDS to happen [almost] every time you would put the refrain.
Not sure about the unrhyming lines, as they sound very off, but maybe try fiddling around with the two-liner as a refrain, and maybe it would help.
But awesome work overall. Well done!

Posted 4 Years Ago



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1 Review
Added on September 29, 2019
Last Updated on September 30, 2019
Tags: Poetry, eyes

Author

Talia
Talia

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