Don't know what to say...

I don't know what to say
Ever since you've been gone
I havent been myself

People say they don't know who I am anymore
That I've changed
And they don't recognize me 

I can't help it
And I can't lie to anyone anymore
I've lied to myself too long 
But now it's time that you all know the truth

I hide my scars beneath the smoke 
I have for years
And none of you knew

I lost my best friend that night
And ever since then
I've been completely different

I need help 
I know this 
But I don't understand why I can't step up to get the help I need

I've hid behind my fears
With smoke all these years

It feels good when I do it though
To feel free from all the pain
When I think of you

I don't think of you often
But when I do and I'm not numb,
My stomach feels like a black hole 
And I feel like I'm just falling forever

But because I don't know what's best,
For me and everyone around me,
I'm just going to keep doing it, 
Until it kills me

Acid, ice, crack, heroine, meth, pot...
You name it I've probably done it before
But I can't help it, I'm an adict 
And that's all I'll ever be

A worthless adict that
Hides behind smoke 
To "heal" the pain
But little do I know, I'm not healing anything...

I'm just killing myself,
And in the end it'll be my fault
I'm dead 
 

Author's Note

Don't know how good this one is… rate and comment please???

Reviews

[Havatara]

This is sad! Is it true? I know of a lot of people who have gotten busted for this, but not died or gotten sick or anything. I still really loved it. Great job.