Losing my friend

This poem I just wrote, had some stuff I need to get out. I tried to write about me from outside my self. Hope you like it.

 

Losing my friend

Losing another friend to that drug

It steals his life, like insane thug

Spending his money on snap, crackle and pop

All his friends and family wish he would stop

But his drug has its claws dug in

Squeezing so tight, he can no longer grin

I miss the man he used to be

He was my best friend just him and me

Now I am left not knowing what to do

I have already put on the other shoe

But it is up to him too reach out

Grab the line I scream and shout

He continues to sink to my dismay

I am just going to wait for the day

The day when he hits rock bottom

Wish my life would have taught him

 

Author's Note

I wrote this piece about myself, I am the friend that is lost. Or at least I was up until 3 years ago when I cleaned up. I tried to imagine what it would be like on the other side looking in. Thanks to everyone for the great feedback.

Reviews

[Jinx's Heart]

This is so heartfelt but definitely sad. It flows wonderfully and touches me very much.

I have been fortunate to have had friends who were able to get out of their drug habits. However, my two youngest siblings are still minors and are subject to my father's abusiveness. My sister often keeps in contact with me and often mentions how much she envies my not having to live with him. I guess it's sort of still watching a good person suffer, but I'm aware it's not exactly the same as someone being stuck in drug abuse.

A beautifully written honest piece of work. Awesome job!

[Vincent Esprit FMI]

May God's spirit strengthen your continuous resolve...
blesings
vincent

[shiloh jennings]

every day is a new struggle ... drugs can steal your life for a month or a year or 10 years... but even if you're 10 years clean, you are still 'a recovering addict' .. getting clean and staying clean doesn't ever deem you clean, unfortunately -- I know this all to well. Cravings can surprise you from somewhere you never thought they'd appear.

You've already done the best part of it -- sharing in your journey.

The raw emotions expressed here are true and deep. Thanks!

Stay strong.

[N. N. Grainger]

you can tell there is alot of emotion and heartbreak here and it does show through your writing. my only suggestion would be to not use the word drug and use language and metaphors to express the drug subtly

i one read a poem that used the phrase 'til death us do part' about and addiction


congrats on the 3 years by the way

[Meredith Leigh]

Wow, this is beautiful and heartfelt. It's so raw, and emotional. You can feel that heartwrenching sadness as you read each line. It's so well written, with a captivating rhyme scheme and meaing. I'm glad to hear that you're doing better now, and you should know you're quite the fantastic writer.
Great job!

- Kriss

[feline_fairy]

I love what you've done here - writing a poem about yourself, separating yourself from who you are, who you used to be, and what you want to be. This is really clever and gives a new meaning to this poem that i didn't get on first reading.

The style is very simple and verse like, which works well in contrast to the complexity and depth of feeling of the subject matter. The simple rhyming structure is almost childlike and innocence, which is ironic when you compare it to the loss of innocence the 'friend' is going through at the hands of 'that drug'.

It comes across as though you were almost watching yourself go through what you did from above, as though it was happening to someone else. This is a common feeling among people going through a difficult time.

[perfectlymetiKulous]

wow... definitely experienced the sincere and deep feeling of loss. this was a beautiful piece. your explanation of the piece was even more moving. i really enjoyed how it was about you, yet, you are writing from the outside-looking-in perspective.

[E-man]

gof f****n damm you i know it sounds mean but you just had me crying im not even kidding i can relate to this poem so much.. maybe ill post my poem that has the same topic but yeah reminds me of this kid i lost to drugs ='(.. amazing write so many emotions great write man i really mean that

[Andy]

Very well done and a hard subject to write about.
Good job
Andy

[Hisou_Tenshi]

You did a wonderful job.

I liked this... It says everything.