Blood

Felt like writing from the POV of a sociopath. Another thing like this is coming soon(ish).

            None seem to really believe me when I state that I, the hyena of my family, am not positively aligned. Dearest readers, you should know very well of the beast I can be. I am no goddess, nor angel, nor anything divine; the closest to an angel you can compare me to are the fallen angels Mastema, Asmodeus, Ornias, and Penemuel. You can even view me as Abaddon, for I destroy often. I embody the Seven Sins that damn you to Hell, and I lack the belief to be damned to there. I have little good in my system.

            For those who don't understand what I'm talking about (which is most), I shall now explain my darker traits which are seen as evil. I shall start off with two of Seven Sins: Avarita and Luxuria. Although separate, the two go hand-in-hand. The word that I believe combines them properly is "desire." I have a plethora of desires that I yearn to fulfill that range from sexual needs, money, materialistic trash, suffering, love, and joy. All desires have demands and I have only just learned how to moderate myself. I used to have  multiple relationships just to obtain those things I desire. I'd use people because I was used to some extent. Whenever I "have" someone, I will get jealous at certain small things and feel like they should be only mine despite circumstances. I'd hurt them like I do on the frequent. I no longer give in to these desires, but I fear myself and I know how impulsively monstrous I can be when given the opportunity.

            Let me delve into a certain desire that haunts me. Suffering. My mind has ventured into the thoughts of Euronymous and Liderc. I've never acted out on those temptations, but I worry I would if given the perfect chance and prey. I have an ex who I'd torment to the point of self mutilation for how she treated me. If I see a person I lust for, I think of violating them in a psychotic ferociousness that would leave them dying or wanting to. I'm an impulsive beast of anger; a monster. When enraged, even slightly, my mind goes to violence. I'd rather hurt than use logic; butcher rather than use brains.

            My brain is fragmented into these personas, one being that beast I've been describing, another being this. When I write, I take on my more intellectual side, the pompous, better than the rest, side. That is because I am better than many. With an IQ higher than most and a talented mind like the one I own, I am much more grandiose mentally than almost all of the humans I am forced to interact with. I can perfectly calculate a rape and murder frenzy, and get away with being Bundy's Successor. I can be a monster if unchained, but I have taught myself discipline through self harm and lowering my esteem. I used to destroy and openly threaten lives, but now I have gave into Acedia and Tristitia. I've become dull, useless, and safe, but my blood still has evil in it which is why I shall spill it more.

Author's Note

Need a name for this character...

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing tale described.
"I can perfectly calculate a rape and murder frenzy, and get away with being Bundy's Successor. I can be a monster if unchained, but I have taught myself discipline through self harm and lowering my esteem. I used to destroy and openly threaten lives, but now I have gave into Acedia and Tristitia."
Dear Alexandra, you create dangerous character and organized thoughts of a killer. Thank you for sharing the outstanding tale.
Coyote

[Alexandra Hounschell]

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it! Sociopaths and serial killers are an inspiration to me

[Coyote Poetry]

Always a entertaining story. Mad-men and killers. You are welcome.