Intensities

Again. It happened again. 

I lie in bed, cloth over head.

It targets the front, the back and both sides.

It pushes and pries and eats a hole from the inside.

No light. No sound. Just the intensity.

Controls my life. My body. My thoughts.  

I want to scream.  Can’t make a sound. 

Take away the pain. A comatose state.

A gun, a bullet, the easy way out.

Need an alternate route.

Again. It happened again.

Here I lie in bed, cloth draped sluggishly over head.

Reviews

[Mister_Sir]

I sincerely apologize for taking so long to review your work. This semester has been particularly burdensome for me.
I have a natural attraction for writing that discusses pain or sorrow, so this one intrigued me well. I like the progressive imagery that you communicate here. It is easy to see the agony in its committed intensity. My favourite parts are the following:

"I lie in bed, cloth over head."

and

"It pushes and pries and eats a hole from the inside."

and

"Take away the pain. A comatose state.
A gun, a bullet, the easy way out."

and

"Take away the pain. A comatose state.
A gun, a bullet, the easy way out."

For me, these lines communicated the most emotion in the poem. I especially like how you start and finish with "Again. It happened again. I lie in bed, cloth..." And I especially like that the psychological condition at the end of the poem is well communicated as worse than at the beginning via the "draped sluggishly" part. Well done.

[Kat Marie]

Mmmmmmm I love that... Such beautiful writing, small but genius details.

[Devin Mitchell Durbin]

I really enjoy it when a poem comes around front to back; it has a lyrical quality to it; almost sing-song. Which is a great juxtaposition of its source content which I imagined would be heavily read with a gritty throaty wail.

[Nila M.]

"Again. It happened again.
I lie in bed, cloth over head.
It targets the front, the back and both sides". I really like the way you put this together. Intense subject matter but I feel like it's also subtle at the same time. Sad but in a way that's soul searching as well, true feelings. The reality that life is painful. Thank you so much for sharing this.

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong description in the poem made me want to know more. You create desperate situation and vision of confusion and need. The statements create a place where you are at stalemate and need a place to be. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[TheLostMind]

A heart-wrenching write. Yes, we always look for an easy way out.. But the pain makes us who we are.. The pain, the suffering they all give us a reason.. a reason to hold on.. a reason to fight.. a reason to live..

I like the flow in the poem.. A really good write.. :)