i am running

====I Am Running====

copyright@pushkar prabhat, 2014

 

BLANK.

in the void;

at the crossroad,

i Am Standing.

 

with an unknown:

immediate past.

the implied future.

UNSURE.

which way is my way;

at this crossroad,

i Am Standing.

 

recollection of,

some destination.

i feel an urgency;

some deadline.

INSTINCTIVELY.

this is the way.

i chose this road.

i Have Started Running.

 

however unknown,

the destination be.

i leave no stone unturned,

leave no tool useful, behind;

among million things,

by the sides of the road.

DEFINITELY.

this is the way.

this has to be.

i chose this road to;

i Am Running.

 

i feel closer

and here comes the storm.

against this wind,

in rush of adrenaline,

with everything  i have got.

DETERMINED.

this is my way.

this is my chance.

i chose this destination.

i Am Still Running.

 

oh this burning,

inside of me.

is my heart on fire?

consuming every bit of my strength.

RELUCTANT.

to give in.

to stop.

i have to, and,

i Am Running.

 

this wind is,

fanning,

this fire.

i feel tired,

my tools are falling,

my tricks are failing.

EXHAUSTED.

this cannot be the end,

i have come a long way,

i choose again: forward!

i Am Running.

 

i am limping,

the further i go,

the more i burn.

but i cannot stop;

bloody deadline.

DÉJÀ VU.

in this journey,

again at a crossroad,

i Am Standing.

 

maybe a superstition;

but i believe,

i shall rise from my ashes.

if not, someday maybe,

this wind shall change course,

take me flying to my destination.

UNFETTERED.

this has been my destiny.

this was my way.

i choose once more,

i Am Running.

______________________________________

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

the pace and intensity was maintained throughout.. I felt the emotion, the uncertainty, the need to keep going.. the flow helped build and keep the momentum nicely... I like the caps with certain words.. it helped stress the ideas..

can I offer a few suggestions? (just my opinion)

"INSTINCTIVELY.
this is the way.
i choose this road.
I Have Started Running."... think it would sound better with "chose" here instead of choose...

also I noticed throughout some of the "I's" were capitalized and some were not, not sure if was intentional or not, just pointing it out..

I love the subtle use of repetition here, it really drives your point home... when done correctly it adds to the "emotional punch" of a poem and you have done that skillfully here..

I have had a few Deja Vu moments in my journey and when pressed for time, can be disheartening for sure.. those "bloody deadlines" will get ya every time.. lol
well written, interesting, and powerful... I enjoyed.. thank you for sharing:)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

this is a generous review. you are very kind. thank you so much.
and i appreciate your suggestions. i used choose because i meant to say that instinctively i choose this road, describing my choice in the process, but yes it does sound better with chose. the capitalized 'Is' is only used in the last sentence of each stanza. i did that to make those sentences stand out.
what do you think? should i change them?
and thank you again for your time.
:)

[AprilRN1210]

honestly, in my opinion, I would change them, and maybe italicize the last sentence or use a different font, bold, whatever you decide to make it visually "pop" or stand out..
it was my pleasure.. you are more than welcome..

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks again...... :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

done! looks better now. :)

[AprilRN1210]

if I may ask, why do you want them lowercase?... if this is not about learning, empowerment, and struggle and survival, wouldn't you want it to be capitalized to show strength? the use of the lower doesn't really fit the tone of the piece in my opinion...

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are right. but firstly, because i believe that normal people can do great things and once they achieve greatness they must not forget or loose their true identity and also, appearances don't matter.
secondly, i like lowercase. i know this is a ridiculous reason but i do. you will notice that i never write my name in uppercase in the "copyright" line below the title, reason as i stated above.
you must think i am crazy. do you?

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you were asking about the 'I's right?

[AprilRN1210]

nope, just was curious as to your "reasoning" behind it.. I have a curious spirit, so I cannot help it.. I like questioning and learning... nice to meet you, and look forward to reading more of your work:)

[AprilRN1210]

yes, was asking about the I's.. :)
you explained it well, thank you...

[Pushkar Prabhat]

great! i too live by those principles. nice to meet you too. i don't know why but, i feel like i made a fool of myself. me and my "reasoning". anyways, please do read and i will be waiting for your insightful suggestions and curious queries.
:)

[AprilRN1210]

yes, was asking about the I's.. :)
you explained it well, thank you...

[Eleanor]

I saw your writing and its a great piece of work :)
You really have the talent of a writer :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much. i am glad you enjoyed it! :) :)

[Briana O'Connor]

I love the intensity and the added emphasis by making certain words stand out in the text. Very nice write.

[Penny]

This piece starts much like Robert Frost's "The road not taken" but turns out to be very different. I like the layout and also how you talked about the whole journey which in a way resembles life. Loved the ending. Well done.

[Sami Khalil]

"RELUCTANT.
to give in.
to stop.
i have to"

[Sami Khalil]

"DETERMINED.
this is my way.
this is my chance.
i chose this destination.
i Am Still Running."

I felt the power of intent and fate where the author maintains focus and direction. The conveyance of the human will and power of survival are immensely shown too. An excellent write...:)..............

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you sami..........your review means a lot to me.

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:)....................

[Lindsay Hope]

This was great, I really enjoyed reading it. I truly felt every emotion that you were feeling at each point in the poem. I felt as if I was on a journey reading this.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

wow! very generous review! thanks a bunch! i am glad you liked it!
:) :)

[Lindsay Hope]

Looking forward to reading more!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

looking forward to more delightful reviews........... :) :)

[micky]

Amazing! What a rush! These are minor words to this poem you left me speechless. Well done. I just can't think of a good enough word for this wonderful piece

[Pushkar Prabhat]

oh you are just being kind. thank you for this amazing review! this made my evening.
:)

[Linda alexander]

Deep and relevant to all centuries of human thriving, survival and adaptation, let me quote Woody Guthrie, the great musician with challenges and created positivism, if you stumbled upon loops at any place that world is yours, so must keep running, this is the way, enjoyed

[Pushkar Prabhat]

wow! thank you so much for this insightful review.
:)

[MomzillaNC]

I love poetry that takes us on a journey.

As an artist and former graphic designer, I'd like to offer some visual advice:
First, limit your fonts to just two. Those two fonts should be one san-serif font and one serif font. I would recommend just the Trebuchet and the Papyrus fonts. The Times font should be changed to Trebuchet and italicized (it should still combine upper and lower case). That will still set it well apart from the all caps lines, but hold the visual progression better.
Second: I would italicize all the lines in Trebuchet; the font is a little close visually to Papyrus otherwise.
Fourth: the copyright under your title should be in Trebuchet and in the 8pt size. It's superfluous to the journey of the poem and doesn't need such prominence.

I want to add that I think your use of punctuation helps us on this metered journey.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you for this insightful review. your suggestions help and next time i will certainly pay attention and about the size, i am still struggling with how my poems actually appears and how it appears in the edit pane. i will take care of it.
thanks a bunch again.
could you help me with the formatting the next time? if it's okay.
and a special thanks for your comment on punctuations. :)
though i am no expert but i do put a lot of thought into it.

[MomzillaNC]

I'm happy to help. After all, we're all in this forum to be better poets, better artists.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks a lot!
:)

[MomzillaNC]

YVW! :D

[Gurleen Saluja]

Wow.. explicitly written. Thought provoking write. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thanks a bunch!!! :)

[Gurleen Saluja]

You're welcome :)