Scattered

'What are you hiding?' As she asked for fifth time, her anger had reached the peak. The dilated pupils burning with heat and irritation scared Annie.

 

'Nothing mum' little Annie crushed the sheet with her sweaty palms that were shivering ever since she saw her mum in the room. She had bounced in the hope to run to her mom and hand over the sheet which was brewing with fresh scribbles. But seeing her grim face, she instead crumbled the piece, trying to hide it her small cute hands.

 

'What are you h-i-d-i-n?' Even before she could complete the word, a tight slap was forcefully imprinted on Annie's face. The little one continued to receive downpour of beatings, ocean of tears staining her pink cheeks, pleading for mercy. Her mother refused to stop, lashing her innocent child with pain beyond her endurance. Little Annie didn't knew that her father had eloped with a women with the little money they had saved, leaving them alone to cope with a hard life; and that her mother was channelising all her anger and helplessness on the little one, without her senses.

 

The curious and bubbly eyes were now filled with fear and pain as her mother grabbed the ruffled paper that was suffering with irrepairable cracks. The eyes that were scorching with rage few seconds ago, moistened instantly on one look at the tattered page.

 

The letters - I love u mumm - lay scattered on the floor

Author's Note

A random story that popped in my mind. Would love to listen to the feedback.

Reviews

[Marie]

That is very sad, very touching.

I don't see why you would need to expand it. These few paragraphs say all that could be said.

[The Seasonal Girl]

Thanks Marie. True, sometimes few words say everything. :) In case I expand it, this piece will not change, a fresh one will just follow :)

[Dr. Dub]

Very visceral and emotional. The contrast between the two characters perspectives is powerful.

[The Seasonal Girl]

Thanks Dr.Dub. I think that's how human perspective works most of the time, so brought it out. Though never knew it could turn 'powerful' :)

[Alice Aries]

Just read your author's note - have you thought of extending it? There is vast potential for interesting and varied plot lines considering the mother and fathers situation. E.g. each chapter could explore a new character, the father could even have gone on a new family - themes of abuse could run deeper?

[The Seasonal Girl]

Thanks Alice.. It's just a random piece on its own. I think if I expand it more, it would be like yet-another-story types. If I come across something interesting of same concept with different approach, I would definitely stretch it :)

[Alice Aries]

There is some beautiful imagery in this piece. I'm intrigued - is it part of a short story, a novella? Abuse - particularly child abuse - is naturally somewhat of a taboo topic, so it must be treated with caution; I feel you have definitely done so. Constructively; there are a few grammatical and spelling errors, but nothing redrafting cannot fix! It's a very evocative piece that leaves me wanting more, well done!

[The Seasonal Girl]

True Alice, child abuse needs to be taken care of with tender and warmth. I am glad you found this piece just that apt :)

I am not that good at grammar, as English is my second language. So would always welcome if you could be specific and point out as learning is a part of growing :)

The last line is like a icing on the cake!Thanks for that :D