A Woman is a Mystery

Dedicated to...

You say you really loved her

She was indeed your mate

You once promised to marry her

So, why did you hesitate?

 

You grew up in a good home

With two parents in your life

Why would you deny the same thing

To your children and your wife?

 

You lived together for years

But never said, “I do”

I’m sure you even wonder

Why you didn’t follow through.

 

Did your ideal change with her

And accept what she became?

Did you forget that we all grow -

No one ever stays the same?

 

A woman is a mystery

Not just a work of art

If you find new love and should forget -

You’ll just break another heart.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

With a mix of Kipling and Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz in tonal vibes you paint a stunning picture that holds an angled mirror to society. So many punchy lines that add to the overall profundity that hits and stabs and knows where it hurts. There's only one aspect that could give it a little more power, and that's the musicality - and this is coming from me having read it on the page as is rather than hearing you read it yourself. I'll show you: musicality and rhythm are slightly different. One can be scanned, the other simply flows with the breath. With the first two lines, you lean heavily on rhythm, and since Line 4 is also lyrically rhythmic, Line 3 is going to have to follow suit, but to be lyrically rhythmic, it's missing a syllable. And right now, as it's being construed contextually as properly rhythmic, "promised" is being hit on the wrong syllable, which sounds really off (and dissonant - not sure if that was the purpose). However, if you put "once" after "promised" you maintain the rhythm that you set in Line 1 (you could take away the "so" in Line 4 to keep the set rhythm, but being lyrically rhythmic is fine there too). So the Stanza would look like this (capitalization denoting stress points): "you Say you Really Loved Her/ she Was inDeed your Mate/ you Promised Once to Marry her/(so,) why Did you HesiTate". In other stanzas, it's similar (Stanza 2, Line 3 needs to be rearranged a bit so the syllables and down beats line up; Stanza 3, Line 1, put "together" at the end of the line, same idea). Everything else is spectacular. Make the tweaks and I guarantee you every punch would hit harder. Well done overall!

[Poetic Beauty]

People evolve, change, grow…
Sometimes people stay married for years until their final breath and sometimes people move forward and instead of growing and evolving together the grow apart or no longer want what they wanted when they were 20 and the situation and change in emotions can’t be repaired.

People change not always for the better not always for the worse. Sometimes they grow in different directions or sometimes they grow together. Not all people are meant to be together forever.
Some people simply can’t live together but they can be great friends when not under the same roof. Relationship and people are complex with complex emotions and situations

[Sara Mercury]

Agreed!
Thanks for the insight! :)

[Franky]

I've often wondered what if.....?

I've known many situations that didn't last. Hmmmmm. What if?

[Sara Mercury]

Sometimes the 'what if' can get the person who wonders in a lot of trouble, especially if that someone has made a commitment to someone else, and they have children together. Unless there is abuse involved in the relationship, I believe a couple with children should strive to stay together and make it work for the sake of the kids. In the end, it's the children who will suffer the most from a broken home. Despite popular belief - "the grass is NOT always greener." :)

Thanks for the review! :)

[emmajoygreen]

Fine meter, quite a story and -a great finish even though both NOT a surprise AND a surprise at the same time - for you, anyway!. Could be both of you have/had an odd understanding of commitment! A case of one foot in the water and one on the bank!

Have a great weekend and - good luck with your book sales!

[Sara Mercury]

This poem isn't about me and anyone else, just to set the record straight. It's about someone I know. But good insight, nonetheless! Thank you so much.
And thank you so much for caring about my book sales! It is an encouragement! Cheers!

[emmajoygreen]

Thanks for your further comments.

[Poetess]

Oh wow, that last line hit so hard. Love this piece, very well written.

[Sara Mercury]

Thank you very much for your kind review. I wrote it on a whim of sorts - I was inspired by someone I know, who never seems to tie the knot with anyone he seems to be serious about. This last one he had, it really surprised me that it fell apart. Mystifies me.

[Max]

This is very well written out and I enjoyed reading it.

[Sara Mercury]

Thank you. (I guess you could say, I was inspired.)