A Love

I yearn

 

A Love

 

Searching for love, not just any pleasure

The morning of needing, someone by my side

I long for those nights, for my heart to fill with warmth

Now that it’s empty,, I place it by the door

 

I would cherish these lovely walks, if I weren’t alone

Gazing at the stars, wishing one would fall

Never the less, off to sleep I go

Hoping for a knock, I leave the door unlock

 

They say dreams are just fairytales

And wishful thinking never comes true

Sleepless nights I lay awake, thinking of that girl

Door wide open, hoping she’ll come through

 

Out there on this moonless night

I scan the ocean, as far as I can see

Pull my anchor, pack my bags

I lock the door to make my dream come true

 

                        by   Mauricio Montoya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I decided to write something without rhyming,I would appreciate your input good or bad. Mauricio

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Don't think meter means that end of the line words have to rhyme, there just has to be a musical flow to your thoughts, your words .. and, in this poem you've succeeded wonderfully well.

The open door picture is so strong .. almost shouting 'I'm here for you, come to me ..' and hopefully by now or soon, the one you want has stepped into your life. Dreans do come true ..

[just rose.]

"Now that it’s empty, I place it by the door" is my favorite line in this poem. It suggests a fresh vision of heartbreak -- I think it's a very original thought and image, and it works well to support the rest of the emotion here. I love that you repeat the door again in the third stanza.

[Jacqueline Lopez]

It doesn't rhyme my friend, but BEAUTIFUL. EXCELLENT. LOVE IT. I loved how you locked your door and went in search of your love. Clever and perfect!

[Poetic Beauty]

I like this free flow poem. It tells a wonderful tale and the description allows you to picture this scene in your mind. Great write.

[Lena]

Beautiful

[lamia]

well done , this is really great , it flows so gently , so full of emotion that it doesn't need rhyming

[Manda]

wow i really liked this! i kinda feel this way only i have a lover. its just distance is keeping us apart... every night i await for him to come to me. im counting down the days. this was wonderful! nice job!

[Art]

Well it does not look like you had any trouble at all my friend...free verse is all about the expression flowing from the mind and the heart...not to say we are perfect at it, we just improve as we go...this is a nice dreamy view of love and desire...an enjoyable work...

nic work my friend...

Oh and a Happy Easter to you...

[nostal]

I loved the flow in this. I love how some of the lines contain internal rhymes and how some of the lines rhyme and some don't. Makes it feel more authentic and sort of wild in a good way. Excellent write. The emotions and feelings break through gently at first, and then quicker at the end, as the speaker wishes for love with a higher intensity.
10/10

[la Abeja]

The flow is really good on this one. It is so difficult for me NOT to rhyme, so I can understand. I like this poem a lot. It has a wonderful message of not just sitting and waiting for things to happen, but actually making the effort to reach for you dreams. Great job!