dear doctor,

dear doctor,

A Poem by timcampbell

i need new valves to
be able to pump the blood i once did
and to love again

i've got this ruptured wall
and i'm gonna need you to patch it up
before i fall for it

can you tell me how
my heart's been enlarged for so long
without me knowing?

and while you're in
can you please begin to suture
my frayed feelings?

you see, i've got this heart disease
and yeah, i've got my problems.
but you can hold the knife to me
and i'll let you solve them.

© 2009 timcampbell


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Reviews

I like the use of colloquialisms to enhance the casual, conversational feel to this poem.
Like CHL says below, you've done a good job with the surgical analogy for emotional pain.
Good write.
Cheers for your review.


Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very nicely put. A great job making the emotional pain have physical properties to be solved with surgery - if only we could do that!

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 7, 2009

Author

timcampbell
timcampbell

Mannheim, Germany



About
My name's Timothy Campbell and I like to write poetry. I'm 18 years old and I live in Mannheim, Germany. I am a senior at Mannheim High School and graduate in June 2009! Can't wait. more..

Writing