TANGLED HEART

..to my knight =]

Can you hear it beating twice?

Hear not, you choose.

Rise the flame that makes me sing

Is this what really love is?

Soothe my dreams to be livin’

Then you came and say you’re leavin’

Into my heart struck a dagger

Not a word you told no more

Even rains teared for vain

‘round your eyes ‘got no response

So what’s the point of givin’ ask?

 

Live lifeless song from li’l lips

Off my empty soul to be ubsurd

Searchin’ the lost gallantry

Thought who, I’m still in pain?

 

If nightingale can do some sing

Narrating my old unended story

Leased the memory I dropped away

Odds to flabbergast!

Vanished in breathless heart

Elternal love is what I’ve found.

Author's Note

..let your asides be heard
=]

Reviews

[Daniel88Batson]

I think a really useful exercise would be for you to compress this piece into 20 words exactly. You keep telling us the same thing about your character in many different ways. Although these ways are lovely they don't do you justice because they all say the same point. Every line must mean something new, not every poem.

[kc]

so you're christine..

[Sugar Plum ♥]

very lovely poem, with deep thoughts and feelings..speially the 'hidden" name, I like it :)

[Alex Vidmar]

not bad. i like it.

[Ness of Love]

This is beautiful. The word structure was amazing, also

[K.C. Zbryk]

I was amazed by the wordplay in this piece and the thought provoking choice of vocabulary. I enjoyed every moment of this passion filled read. I like the flow of the journey and hoew the phrasing of the lines made it so the reader had to reread just to guarantee comprehension. Great use of te format as well!

[McNamara]

You're a whole other animal. Some lines I find myself reading a number of times to make sure i understand. As i'm sure you're aware you're language is quite different. This is very good though as the very thought of re reading means you take it in more.
I feel your writing is very unfiltered and natural to you, i apologise for this review I'm fairly drunk as I write.

[Charile]

Great job. Keep it up

[joshua deathdealer]

I agree. fun read.

[EMF]

Real fun, and more than that. Real good. Quality work Lady. Be justly proud