Touching Float

A whispering voice raising me to rise

No one understands this hold 

When the ways wander you grab 

Yet gentle falls upon your face

Leaving me with a sudden rush of gold

The hearing heart beating in sole call

Magic moments within sights of you

Right before the royal drown 

You touch the sunlit strands

Pulling me up to a breathing stance

Hugging the memories of us

Walking away on ruffled waters

The stirrings of you

The strongest arms upon a moon

Your every detail once said

You will come over and run back

Into solid teal shoulders

Before a fire burning light

Heated moments of opposing reflections

Dreams fall within falls

Arabian nights float

Reviews

[JayG]

When you read this, knowing your objective, and the meaning and intent of every word, it works beautifully.

But as I read:

• A whispering voice raising me to rise

Raising me to rise? Seriously? A bit less than poetic. And, what else can whisper than a voice? So, someone unknown whispered, and in response, the person woke...or stood, or....

• No one understands this hold

"This...HOLD?" What hold? What happened to the whispering person who was here a line ago? Seems like each line stands alone, unrelated to the rest.

• When the ways wander you grab

Nope, I never grab when my ways wander? Why are you insisting that I do. And what am I supposed to be grabbing?

Words you have, but there's not a shred of context or relevance. And it's you talking about you, and what matters to you.

It appears that you're trying to appear deep and significant, with the reader at fault for not "getting it.

But even Bunthorn admitted:

If you're anxious for to shine
in the high sthetic line
as a man of culture rare,
You must get up all the germs
of the transcendental terms,
and plant them everywhere.

You must lie upon the daisies
and discourse in novel phrases
of your complicated state of mind,
The meaning doesn't matter
if it's only idle chatter
of a transcendental kind.

And every one will say,
As you walk your mystic way,
"If this young man expresses himself
in terms too deep for me,
Why, what a very singularly deep young man
this deep young man must be!"

You can view a marvelous performance of, If You're Anxious For to Shine, by Michael Ball, here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu_Xk_Vl6fk

[FaeryQueen]

Deeply penned 🖤
Loved how you said “hearing heart”, as the heart does hear lots!! ^^

[Nisreen]

Thank you FQ

[andrew mitchell]

Enchanting read Nisreen with a atmosphere of Arabian nights, Aladdin and the lamp.

[Nisreen]

Thanks Andrew

[Weeping willow]

Wonderful write, enjoyed the read ;-]

[Nisreen]

Thank you WW

[willweb]

A darkly mystical and enchanted piece of writing. Your talent shines here my friend.

[Nisreen]

Thanks will

[Ken Simm.]

This strikes me as almost a troubadours song. Full of mysetery and promise in equal measure. Excellent imagery and word structure.

[Nisreen]

Thank you Ken :)

[Einstein Noodle]

great pic .. it works with the "mysterious" in your poem .. title is uniquely intriguing ... i'm taken kind of back and forth .. a certain wanting yet there seems to be a danger in it ... "Right before the royal drown
You touch the sunlight strands" .. sensual .. really like the "... teal shoulders" ... inspiring .. enjoyed reading more than once, Nisreen ... it tugs my mind and heart at the same time
E.

[Nisreen]

Thank you E - you read me quite well
So much tugging :)

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... i do feel you .. love and peace Ms.Nisreen .. and joy! :)))))))))))

[Nisreen]

Thank you thank you

[SleeplessVolcano]

Interesting journey. As long as those nights float, it works.

[Nisreen]

Thanks for stopping by

[Chris Shaw]

Arabian nights. How that grabbed me. I found mystique, moonlight and love in these lines. Pleased I stopped by today Nisreen.

Chris

[Nisreen]

Thank you Chris