Excavate

I'm a f*****g scavenger
Hunting for my words
Too cryptic for your answer
Lost meaning in these broken poems because I'm a loser musician plucking guitar strings that are muted, filling in the missing rhymes with sounds and signs I can't deny so I write like it means anything to you and you seem to know without knowing. All I want is for these frequencies to sing to you, so listen closely. Your brilliance is my only understanding, the rest of this is just fodder for sad dreams no one will remember...

We will rise from the dead and into the stars
On hydrogen bonds, our bonds, our bond
Lost in the awe of a storm that's brewing
Splitting our tongues in a glass tsunami
The Seven Wonders left us to wander one more

It's all been done, it's all been done
It's all been done before
We carry on
A new day comes
Just let it...

Hey you
(Don't let me go)
Wasting away
(I'll let you know)
This fairytale grows
To see the next page

Do you find this sacrilegious?
Flights of fancy sent to kill us
Our sun-scorched wings allow our fall
While dragons sleep, obsidian Crawls
Your maker meets your fossils in the glaciers; your apostles,
Of a lore in vain, while our's remain;
unshaken

Spiraling out within golden rungs
Finding the core, your diamond lungs

Author's Note

Disclaimer: I have never studied poetry, nor am I very well read. If anything in this piece seems like Im trying to stick to a specific pattern or style of writing but deviates at points, thats only by coincidence

Reviews

[V]

Dark with some glimmer upon it (referring to the last two lines). Interesting take on life with some nicely written lines. Other expressions read a tad off in comparison to the rest but I connect dots in a weird way too. It has an almost lyrical character, particularly the second and third stanza.

[transentience]

Your critique is very much appreciated, I added something at the beginning to give this a different feel. Thank you!

[Einstein Noodle]

very interesting read! like you i have no formal education in writing but the more i read and absorb here at the Cafe ..the more it expands my experience and writing .. you certainly have a penchant for writing in an enigmatic way ... my mother-in-law (now deceased) headed up our Art Museum and directed more than one poetry clubs so of course when i started to write poetry i brought some to her ... she told me to be careful about obtuse expressions that i wrote in an explosive inspiring moment ... she told me to be careful not to loose all meanings for my intention ... so once connected and reading others poems i started to try classic forms and do collaborations in order to temper that creative word splurge upon the page ... you are a deep thinking person ... as the consummate introvert i am the same way as are many expressive writers :) i think your poem sticks to a theme ... digging deep for meaning and presenting air in a form of a ball is difficult ..but if i were you i would not give up the attempts ..nor the searching ..nor worry about what readers may or may not think about it ..however, i have found constructive criticisms here at the Cafe to be honest and very helpful ..love your stuff ...and especially enjoy your ties to music in your poetry ... it reminds me of the "Music of the Spheres" ... a scientific fact and recordable :)))
E.

[Alexandra Hounschell]

The first line made me giggle. I really loved the little story-line and stuff