Concussion

I had 6 concussions in the course of two years, and their presence is felt.

Constant squeezing, pressing it never really ends

Something so dark, so beautiful, so antagonizing

Something I love and hate

An excuse to puff, puff, pass

But at a price of my peace at night

Only to be removed temporarily never fully out of mind

Something so evil and confusing not even doctors have answers

How good should that feel?

Knowing someone who studies medicine their whole life

And i still have no cure

All results have turned bad, maybe this is my fate

Was I evil in another life?

Maybe Hitler or Genghis Khan

Not really sure, but I do know somethings wrong

To others I give my fortune for virtually no return

Something I've attempted my entire life just to earn

Flushed away like worthlessness in a ceramic bowl

Who knew “Sorry we cant help” is something I'm always told

After giving them everything I have a right to be upset

What will happen to me now? Im not sure whats next

To keep traveling down this barren road

Or to start my life anew

Look back on the past and just laugh

Thats what Im going to do

Author's Note

Let me know what I do well and what needs improvement!

Reviews

[Madhu]

It is very disappointing when there's no cure to a certain problem, and it gets all the more disappointing when an expert in that field finds no solution either. You've beautifully put together the various thoughts that come in human mind like those of fate as you mentioned. Somehow, I felt your writing speaks volumes and also something that you're going through in life.
As you've also written, "I had 6 concussions in the course of two years, and their presence is felt."
I'd like to mention that I loved these lines of yours-
"Or to start my life anew
Look back on the past and just laugh
Thats what Im going to do". This is what we should do. To forget the past and try to focus positively into what's coming next.

[Emily]

Nice poem!!
Well done!
Keep it up!

[RiverRei]

"at THE price of my peace" instead of "at a price"
Make a new line after "Only to be removed temporarily"
Make a new line after "Something so evil and confusing"
Make a new line after "All results have turned bad,"
You don't have to make a new line after "After giving them everything" but at least put a coma to make the idea more clear. Took a couple times reading that line to understand what you were trying to say.

Overall I like it. I'm sorry it sounds like yo'u're having a lot of issues in your life. I'm around if you would like to talk. I''m good for more than just poem reviews lol. I can relate to this though which is partially why I like it so much. Keep'em comin! :)

[wordman]

I think we`re here and we all have our fate,our walk if you will people pray,beg,and plead
with no answers ,I feel as if we are in a test

[ANTO]

"How good should that feel?
Knowing someone who studies medicine their whole life
And i still have no cure" - This made me chuckle with a sense of the familiar. Many counsellors I saw said i had this sick pride that none of them could diagnose me. As if it was cool to defeat modern medicine but I know it is very frustrating and it does induce a sense of 'Why Me?' which you touched on - in a witty though rather narcissistic fashion - couldnt be just any mass murderer/tyrant, had to be Hitler or old Genghis lol.

I think the words 'but I'd rather' - or something to that effect or some kind of formatting to suggest a new track has just occurred to the author - would fit nicely in between the 3rd last and the penultimate line.
I liked the upbeat, jolly ending Ricky. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Be careful. Concussion can be dangerous. I believe best cure. Be safe and keep body away from dangerous places. Life is odd. Each of us follow our proper path. Can't allow the fear of life to slow us down. I enjoyed the poetry.
Coyote

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

I am so very sorry you have to go through that. I hope you will find someone who will be able to help you in the medical expertise. Sadly medical institutions are so flawed even with the advent of technology and its advancement. I always turn to alternative medicine for help. And believe me, I understand you completely! I've had a malady for more than half of my life and only now I found some kind of help. I BID YOU LUCK AND STRENGTH!

[Kaitlin]

You may want to read the first few lines without context. Maybe add a line at the beginning explaining that you go hit or fell. I like that you wondered if this was Karma for something you don't remember doing or something you did a previous life. I know I said this on Red but I would look for missing commas.

Excellent read. I especially enjoyed the verses between "How good should that feel?" And "...in another life?" You have several good quotes that could stand all on their own. 90.738

[Ricky Campbell]

Thanks! I will try to incorporate more commas.