Knock, Knock

i'm hard to love
i've seen so many people walk in, try, and walk out
to figure that out
so, i am officially closed for business

that is, until you knocked
and knocked
and kept knocking
and since i am a pushover
i came out to meet you
i told you
you can't come in

what you don't seem to understand
is that if i had a home
i'd let you in
but the only place i belong
is the broken hearts club

we swing baseball bats
meanwhile batting our eyelashes
and pursing our lips
trying to obtain what we think we need

needs met by ourselves
and by strangers
but i am scared of the dark
though i am no stranger to a black eternity
that i have set up for myself

so i am alone

you are the first light
to enter
in a long time
stranger danger

you say you are no danger
but who am i to believe you?
when everyone else who has come here
has said the same

you say you are different
but who am i to believe you?
when everyone else who has come here
has lead me to believe the same

and now time had passed
and you look at me
as if i am a criminal
as if i have stolen something from you

all i did was try to take back
what you stole from me

stature
security
stability

plain same old same old
until you said my name
my name
sounding different in your mouth
your mouth
on mine, feeling different than the rest
restless nights thinking of you
you
your lies
you
your deceit
you
your skin
your voice
you, you, all of you

maybe i broke the law
because i have never broken a heart
maybe i wanted to know
what it felt like to be the brick
and not the window pane

but do you blame me?
i'm hard to love
i've begged so many people to stay
white knuckles, knees bleeding
to figure that out
so, i'm shutting down