A Modern Knight

Taking Don Quixote and modernizing it a bit.

 

Somewhere in Southern California, in a city that looks like every other, a young man set out on a journey.  He had spent his days engrossed in work and nights withering in fear over his incapability to finish it. Each day for lunch and dinner, he consumed the unsatisfactory soup and plain tuna sandwich provided by the buffet he loathed. He had three roommates, none of which he cared for. The young man was approximately twenty years of age and named Derek by his parents, for no specific reason. But Derek, tired of his monotonous everyday life, set out to prove to the world that he would not be overlooked as the mediocre young adult. Rather, he would become the greatest trombone player to have ever existed.

               It all began early one morning as the orchestra that Derek played with gathered together to embark on a call for worship at a nearby church in San Juan Capistrano for Reformation Sunday. During this time, while the orchestra loaded the bus, Derek approached Richard, a fellow player of brass instruments. He could be described as a man of great humor… with other decent qualities, I suppose. Derek asked Richie, as he liked to be called, to accompany him on his journey. Knowing they would be going the same way, Richie agreed.

               As the duo boarded the bus, they sat across the aisle from each other. Right behind the mass stacks of food in the front, provided by various members of the orchestra, both Derek and Richie grappled for the items he wanted and the flavor of Capri-Sun he craved. Silenced by their caveman eating habits, Derek found himself too soon confronted by the young girl behind him.

               “Hi, I’m Chandra! I noticed we were in a few classes together last semester, and probably will be again next semester. What are you up to?”

               “Well, right now I’m eating,” Derek said as crumbs fell out of his mouth.

               “Oh… I just thought it’d be cool to find out what books you like versus what books I like. I think it’s fun when you have these kind of conversations, because you get to know people really well based on what they read. So I’ll start. I really like the classic novels that deal with complicated romances, like Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice. Jane Eyre is actually my favorite novel of all time. Now you go!” She smiled.

               “Um, well I really enjoy most novels and authors. Even if I don’t necessarily like the story, I never really hate the book itself, because I think people should appreciate all literature.”

               Derek suddenly looked disgusted.

               “Except for this one book. It’s called The Pilgrim Tinker Creek and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t stand it. It makes no sense, the main character seems retarded to me, and the entire thing just bores me to death. When I’m finished with it, I’m literally going to throw it into a trash can after ripping it to shreds and never look back.”

               Chandra laughed as Derek’s face became red with anger over such a ridiculous book.

               “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I get one of those types of feelings too when I read Shakespeare. His stuff all seems to have the same plot, and it’s just so boring I can never seem to wrap my mind around it.”

               She continued laughing, but didn’t notice until a few minutes had passed that Derek wasn’t laughing with her. In fact, he was just staring blankly at her. She immediately stopped laughing and looked confused.

               “Why am I the only one laughing?” she asked.

               “How can you not like Shakespeare? Saying you don’t like Shakespeare is like saying you don’t like your parents! He created the English world we speak today; all of his plays and novels shape us into who we are and how we speak. He gave way to all of the great novels after him and that are being written today!”

               “Well, I appreciate what he has done for us with the English language. I just don’t like him.”

               And thus they argued back and forth over Shakespeare.

               When I awoke next, Chandra was smiling at Derek, though he looked a bit gloomy. Presumably, neither side had given up their argument. It seemed that Derek had just chosen not to fight any longer, giving Chandra the impression she had won. You win some, though you choose not to win others.

               “Hey, you guys want to hear about my first time?” Richie asks.

               Everyone, puzzled, looks over at him.

               “You know, first time meaning…”

               “We know what you mean Richie. We’re just not sure we’re ready for such a story quite yet,” Derek said.

               “Well it’s nothing that bad! It was a couple years ago when I was at this Halloween party. I had dressed up as a Storm Trooper from Star Wars. This one girl was just the hottest girl that I’ve ever seen. She had dressed up in this little turtle outfit, which wasn’t as great as my outfit, but she looked really good. We kept drinking from the punch bowl, and then after an hour…”

               “Whoa, okay, I think that’s enough for me. Richie, you will just have to share your little story with Derek another time,” Chandra said.

               Right then, the bus pulled up to the church in San Clemente. Chandra quickly made her way off the bus, followed by both Derek and Richie. The duo grabbed their instruments and began walking towards the church.

               “You know, I have this girl back home. She loves me more than I could ever even ask her to. She knows I’m the greatest thing since Jesus, so I’ve set out to prove I love her by playing at the greatest concert hall in America. If I do that for her, she’ll know I love her,” Derek admitted.

               “Derek, what are you talking about? This is a small church in San Clemente…”

               “Don’t be so modest. You and I both know what a big deal this is. I mean, look at all these girls just swarming to meet me! We are at this great concert hall because I am the best trombone player in the world, and these girls just prove it.”

               Derek pointed to the courtyard near the church’s entrance. There, Richie saw many skinny trees huddled together. He looked back at Derek, who was glowing with pride, and decided not to rein on his moment of glory. Derek walked over to the “girls” that he had so vividly imagined were there to greet him. He slowly caressed their tree trunks and murmured sweet little nothings into their branches.  Richie walked over to Derek, grabbed him and told him that the orchestra had begun to set up in the “great concert hall” for their performance. Derek bid his lovely girls adieu and walked back with Richie to the church.

               When Derek began setting up his trombone (which included throwing its case and kissing its bell), Richie snuck out the side door of the church. Something has to be done about Derek, he thought to himself. I can’t let him escape like this. He needs help badly. It’s not right that he’s out there hugging trees like that.

               Richie pretended to be grabbing something from the bus. However, when he reached the bus, he pulled out the leg of a broken music stand and popped all of the tires. If we can’t leave right away, it will give me time to think of a plan that will keep that tree hugger from doing more harm to himself, or others.

               Richie ran back to the church when he heard the orchestra warming up. In ten minutes, the service would start and he would be able to sit back and relax, knowing Derek would be showing off his trombone playing. The service went well, and, being on Reformation Sunday, it really hit home for many people. As Richie turned around to congratulate Derek, however, he noticed that Derek had left. Panicking, Richie got up as the congregation stood for the prayers and went searching for him.

               Wandering through the halls, Richie could faintly hear Derek saying, “GO! Be free of your entrapment! I’m saving you’re lives, now run for your freedom!”

               He started to run towards Derek’s voice when he heard a loud thump. Pausing at the nursery door, Richie looked in and saw Derek lying unconscious on the floor. Next to him, a plastic chair lying on its side had been dented in various areas. And behind the chair, a young boy sat laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes.

               “Chair make boy go BOOM!” the young boy said.

               Richie put his head in his hands and, whether out of exhaustion or anger, he too began laughing. He high-fived the little boy and ran back to where the orchestra had began to filter out. Grabbing Matt, Derek’s fellow trombone player, the two ran back to the nursery to grab Derek. Trying to avoid the congregation, they snuck out the back door to the bus, where the orchestra had started collapsing instruments and packing things up. After a brief explanation of what had happened so far that morning, the orchestra decided to tie up Derek to the large tuba in the bottom of the bus, where they stored the rest of the instruments. He would be much safer in a locked environment by himself, unable to move.

               The orchestra heard nothing out of Derek for the entire ride back to school, and as they arrived at Concordia, they all gathered around the compartment where Derek sat chained. When Richie released the tied up captive, Derek smiled at everyone as he gathered himself and his things and climbed out. The orchestra members took a step back to give Derek room.

               “Look, I’m sorry for acting the way I did this morning. I think it’s just me being exhausted. I haven’t really been getting much sleep lately, and I forgot to take my medication this morning. I promise it won’t happen again.”

               Derek smiled at Richie. Richie patted him on the back and together, they walked back towards campus. As they passed by the drama department, they noticed that the new play “Godspell” was about to begin. Buying their tickets right inside the door, they headed in and sat down. As the lights went dim, one spotlight focused in on the opening of the play: three puppets mocking each other. Without even being able to react, Richie watched Derek charge across the room in a fit of rage…