VW Golf

There it goes.

Down the little straight of h street,

That leafy-green Volkswagon Golf.

I like that car; it's too bad it's leaving.

It's really too bad that it's taking

my dad

With it.

I'll miss its shape, and its funny little horn.

The kind that has two distinct noises--

"Beep" and "Bep"--

And when they sound together

Like royal trumpets,

Letting all who hear know of their presence,

I smile

Because of how harmonious it sounds.

Or, I guess... I used to smile.

The horn is gone now.  It's leaving

With the car and

my dad.

I think about how things will change

Without that VW Golf.

The window ripples and swirls,

Becoming a crystal portal

To the future.

I see another car; a big, red Yukon XL.

It's driving down h street, too,

Followed by a U-Haul

And a white pick-up.

A man is driving the white pick-up...

A man I've never seen before.

But he loves my mom, 

So we're going to live with him.

I don't know how I know that.

The vision is like a dream:

You know some things without

Knowing how you know them.

We drive 3/5 of a thousand miles

To a whole new world,

But there are no magic carpets there.

Believable sights.

Describable feelings.

I frown at the window...

I don't like this future.

So it speeds up, and images fly by

So quickly I can hardly pick them apart;

But I can feel what they mean,

And that's a better way to understand, anyway.

I'm happy, most of the rest of the vision.

Happier than I am when it stops,

And the window unswirls,

And I see the green VW Golf turn left.

It leaves h street,

Taking

my dad

With it.

Author's Note

It's not very deep, or poetic. But I'm trying to get into the free verse scene, so bear with me.

Found the pic on Google Images. Not mine.

Reviews

[Dani]

The only thing I'd change is your author's note - lying isn't cool, y'know. This was deep, and very poetic. True story. er.. true poem. either way.
The title is misleading, in my opinion (not a bad thing at all). I came here thinking this would be about a car, but my attention is more directed toward your dad -in- the car. The way you describe the car taking your dad away suggests that perhaps you thought he didn't have a choice in the matter.. so this poem has a younger sound to it.
The scene in my head plays out as a divorce between parents (I was also thinking death... but that almost sounds too extreme for the scene). Your dad is driving away in what was once a sort of family car, and without it, you know things won't be the same. Your mom will get remarried, you'll move to a new town (will it be as barren as they come?) etc.etc. Eventually you realize you'll get over it, but in the moment when your dad is leaving, you're not thinking about that. All you're seeing is the car, driving away and never returning, knowing in your mind that your dad is inside.

At least, that's what I thought. I'm honestly terrible at interpretations, but this was so awesome and I had to try. Regardless of the meaning behind the poem, the scene unfolds smoothly - every image you incorporated in the piece is clear as day. Great write.

[Nobody.]

I found it interesting....and it held my attention throughout. I agree with Ostensible Truth, there are more layers to this bit of free verse than your author's note gives credit for. Keep the free verse coming. I'll keep reading. It's like my coffee every morning...I'm addicted.
Cheers!
R.G.

[blueyedany72]

This is great. The details are subtle but strong. You did a wonderful job. With the title, I wasn't sure what to expect, but I certainly was not expecting this. The underlying sadness and uncertainty that the poem brings was greatly done. And the poem itself was easy to read. Excellent job.

[OT]

nice poem!! and deeper then you make out!! a nice read!

[Miss Coral]

I would say that is BOTH deep and poetic. I love how easy your stuff is to read- not language and stuff like that, but the cadence and the images are all simple and STRONG. It seems almost pure in a way. A lot of people clutter their poetry, almost try to make it difficult to read in some elitist attitude- this feels real to me.

The repetition really seems to strengthen the situation for me- it isn't overbearing at all, but almost seems methodical, almost like someone recalling something, trying to remember something in perfect detail- it works very well, and highlights the importance of the imagery for the reader, really imprints that one last image in our brains as the moment of change.
Anyways- great piece. I can totally relate to it on a whole lot of levels, and it's an emotional one while having been written as emotionally detached- great job.

-Coral-

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

it's a deeply moving piece ~ the almost emotionally detached narration actually imbues it with all the more impact~ relating life changes through inanimate objects is an art form of the coping mind and soul which when translated with sincerity works itself into a poetic gem such as the one you have created above~ much enjoyed your thoughtful composition~

[Escape My Fate]

Amazing :D Details :D