In the evening of the day

In the evening of the day

A Poem by ttom
"

Deeply moved on an evening run . What an experience, thank you Lord.

"

 

 
 

 

 In the evening of the day
 
In the evening of the day
as stillness settles, cloudless blue skies still shine
Cool air gathers in pockets as I run through them
In the evening, I think of the day gone by and the next to come
 
My body releases as time ceases to pass
The day slips away, through my arms, hands and fingers
The smell of a freshly hayed meadow permeates my being
Dark green bundles snake across the fields in shaded rows
 
Rejoicing in the gift of the day,
Of life
I gaze upwards
into the heavens, opening my arms in praise
Giving thanks, as I run; in the evening of the day
 
Is  this how it was?
Somewhere east of Eden, in the garden watered by Pishon, Gihon , Tigris and Euphrates
Where gold and onyx glistened in the stream bottoms
God walked with man; in the cool of the day
Across the pristine land of Cush
 
Here among the deep shadows, between meadow and wood...............................
I am in his presence
                             In the evening of this day
    
 

© 2009 ttom


Author's Note

ttom
Not sure of the line breaks or structures, can some one please review this???

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Reviews

I'm not sure about the exact line breaks either, but they seem to flow really nicely.

Either way though, this is a really great poem, it feels like you are there when you are reading it. It evokes very nice imagery through these words. And it brings a nice feeling through the thoughts. I feel closest to God when I am free and away from everything too, it seems to bring a sense of beginning into life, and everything feels perfect -if only for a moment. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


The peace of your mind seems to ooze out of this beautiful poem.. I think it's wonderful. In a strangely calm way your sense of euphoria in the day is so intense and the feeling touches the reader.

Personally I'd leave the structure etc. as it is.. whether or not technically correct .. words should come from the heart. If I have to give constructive criticism and am not an expert, maybe I'd find a way of making the four lined stanzas into five or the five into four, omitting unwanted words or adding appropriate ones... but, again, I think it's a truly fine and sincerely touching write as it is.

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow! that was so beautiful. it really touched my soul, and that doesn't happen often. overall it was an amazing write.

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on May 22, 2009
Last Updated on July 3, 2009

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ttom
ttom

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