waterproof bandaids

some wounds never heal

missing him hurts like a knife through my heart

as this pain from a past life tears me apart

is this my debt to pay for all of my sins

some things hurt more than the blade on my wrist

the warfare in my soul leaves me wounded beyond repair

years later and i still haven’t healed

wishing i could sew these wounds and be okay

but some things never seem to leave me

unless those things are people, as they always seem to go

but their smile stays on my mind, and the sound of my name rolling off their tongue and the way my heart would burst when they looked at you

now its sort of crumbled, falling to the floor

as i press myself against the wall to stop myself convulsing

shaking with every tear

Pathetic

lifetimes ruined because i can’t move on

i don’t want to love you

but here i am, hiding inside my mind, watching days go by

my room dark, my spirits darker

wondering how you’re doing today

and if she makes you happy

and what you will do when she leaves, because she will

wondering who will pick up your pieces, wondering if they’ll fall for you too

i hope they don’t learn to love you, i hope they don’t really try 

because soon she’ll be bored and give you attention and you’ll throw your savior away

I’m still sitting amongst the waste

wasting away

listening to songs that remind me of you

my voice shaking as i try to sing

crying in the shower where no one can hear me 

where the water beats down on me 

mixing with my tears

washing away my resolve

that facade that everyone sees

that lures men to their fate

showering off their touch and their smell

wrapped in a towel that could never be as warm as your embrace

i fall apart again

and she knocks on your door

and i say my last goodbye