Broken Dreams

micro flash fiction

Stealing men, brothers, husbands, sons, away to a foreign land.

They take up guns, march out, and follow orders.

Rivers of blood, bomb borne dirt raining down.

Shots are fired, soldiers and civilians fall.

Nightmares come when sleep is allowed.

Screams, groans, gasps, whimpers, cries.

Survival of the fittest.

If not terminated.

Returned damaged.

War.

Reviews

[TheWritingWriter]

Overall, a solid piece of writing. If I were to criticize anything, it would be the lack of word painting (given that this is a poem). The subject matter you are writing about has so much room for metaphors and figurative language that could potentially draw more readers into the world in which you are describing.

All of the above, I already know about war—give me experience or feeling that I may not be able to understand on the surface. Something deeper. More meaningful.

Great idea, and a good start—give me more!

I look forward to reading more of your material!

[Woody]

nice write. succinct. to the point. sums up the devastation of war.
I like it. good job.

[The Violent Wolf]

Thank you (:

[dragonslayer47]

amazing how in a few lines the tradegy of war is summed up

[Lyn Anderson]

A really interesting format, and a good descriptive write in a small space.

[The Violent Wolf]

Yeah, it was a little hard, but ultimately fun to write in this form xD

[Silent Wolf]

This seems more like a poem, but this allows me to see what's going on. I like it, in a good way...

[The Violent Wolf]

yeah, it's sometimes called a 55 word flash fiction story, or the ten line flash fiction story, thanks!

[Silent Wolf]

Coolio. :3