ʻalo ka makani

ʻalo ka makani

A Poem by D. Pesek

Beauty, less human corruptions,

Though created by fiery eruptions.

That foreshadow a deadly Pearl,

And a striking hula girl.

© 2009 D. Pesek


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Reviews

haha the title sounds like some kind of indian food, and since i'm indian i give myself the right to make a call on that by saying that i'm pretty sure it is :) short and sweet, it's good!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hmm, solid, but i needed more (not necessarily in terms of length) in order to get hit by it. i wasn't HIT by it.

but good work as always, my friend!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very cute
i like the rhyme scheme
very well written.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well expressed write
Little detail but well said
Nothing more needed

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I don't know if this poem was meant to do this but it created a really attractive girl in my head haha

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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250 Views
5 Reviews
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Added on September 16, 2009

Author

D. Pesek
D. Pesek

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