Too Long

Too Long

A Poem by KeelyJane
"

Found this poem I wrote years ago. Thought I'd share. Its always interesting to see how your own poetry evolves, not just in style but in theme as well.

"

Everything about you drives me up the wall

If I had to count the ways, I couldn't count them all

Our steps are not in sync, we don't see eye to eye

If I'm a bird you're a fish, I can't swim and you can't fly

If its not one thing its another, our conflicts are never ending

We're rarely ever happy, if we act like it we're pretending

The difference between what I want and what you don't

What I want is change and that’s something that you won't

Why try to compromise and settle for what we know is wrong

And draw out any longer what’s already gone on for too long

© 2013 KeelyJane


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Featured Review

There is so much maturity i the write though you say it was written very long ago.
There has been a great writer out there since then.
You play with the words & write a thing that pierces one's heart.
You are one of the best writers whom I have known in WC & surely a Gifted writer.

Ma fav lines are -
"If I'm a bird you're a fish, I can't swim and you can't fly"
"Why try to compromise and settle for what we know is wrong"

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

KeelyJane

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I'm flattered.



Reviews

have we met before?
sounds like it
did I stiff you for the tab?
sorry
but tough on that

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like it

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Words that are not spoken but in a kiss. I think anyway.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

KJ, this was funny and cute and sad all at the same time. I loved the fish and the bird line

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this one a lot. It may be older but the only thing I found fault with was the size of the text. It gives the form a sloppy look but the lines are excellent. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A great song from the past. "Should I stay or should I go." The poem reminded me of the song. Sometime two people fall together and stay together in a turmoil and can survive. Nice flow of thoughts led the reader to a good ending. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It`s a nice theme, Keely, and yes, we all air old stuff....but I have to think you`ve learned a bit about scanning in a rhymed poem since the time you wrote this piece, so why not give it a whirl?....there are lots of ways you could balance the syllable count without changing either the rhyme scheme or the thought train. P.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There is so much maturity i the write though you say it was written very long ago.
There has been a great writer out there since then.
You play with the words & write a thing that pierces one's heart.
You are one of the best writers whom I have known in WC & surely a Gifted writer.

Ma fav lines are -
"If I'm a bird you're a fish, I can't swim and you can't fly"
"Why try to compromise and settle for what we know is wrong"

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

KeelyJane

11 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I'm flattered.
When did you meet my brother? Good rhymes.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 18, 2013
Last Updated on June 13, 2013

Author

KeelyJane
KeelyJane

Albuquerque, NM



About
I'm just a girl with a lifetime of experiences. I've taken from those experiences what can be put into words and poetically put them together to share with all of you. These are my contributions. .. more..

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