Repression

My memory is lacking
And I feel intense opposites
First, I feel the endless need for you
Next, I feel something
From long ago
Something lurking in the realm
Of the unknown
Will I ever remember?
Or will I continue to feel worthless
Pointless, useless
Afterwards?
This is when the hate takes over
And again, I reiterate to you
I cannot love and hate simultaneously
So I love you, then I hate me, then I love you
Then I am unsure
And now here I am
Scared as can be
Has tragedy befallen me
In my lost childhood?
I’m sorry I’m not
What you expected
Please, don’t judge me
I never meant it
Never meant to be neutral to you
And bring back the pain
Am I the way I am
Because someone took matters into his or her own hands?
I wish I could become nothing
And crawl under a dark cool rock
So I could slither away
And weep

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

repressed thoughts and emotions refuse to submit and come to forefront of your mind unbidden
Far better to examine them in the light.What better way than to write them down in black and white so you can re edit them
You present your ideas in well written poetic prose