Things My Professors Say That They Probably Shouldn't

These are actually things that my professors have said. Hope you enjoy!

F**k!

Damn!

S**t!

Now, don’t tell anyone I said that.

 

Why don’t you know this?

It’s first grade math!

There is no hope,
I am going to die.

 

I bet my colleagues a bottle of wine,

and I am going to drink scotch in Hell.

Oh and my wife is trying to kill me

because apparently I’m a communist!

 

You don’t need to know this,

but I am telling you anyway.

I don’t like saying panties out loud
and she is having sex with a tuba.

 

Barbra Seaman is an unfortunate name to have during the birth control movement

And giving birth is like trying to get a basketball in to a coke bottle.

So lick the walls there made of asbestos

And go jump out a window!

 

If my computer blows up, take cover

because my doctor said it’s all in my head

and it’s very hard to use a full sized shotgun in a bank.
So…that is why I can’t retire!

So…sit back, relax, and have a smoke,
Everyone has sex with everyone in college.

Author's Note

What do you think? It's all true.

Reviews

[Melanie]

I enjoy how honest this piece is - every single thing is something I have heard, or can believe that one of my professors has said.