One Ballot Signed in Blood

A fanatical young man murders his girlfriend because of who she voted for.

Artie’s bedroom told part of the story

Dog eared paperbacks on the floor

See I told you so, The No Spin Zone

Let Freedom Ring

 

His body art confirmed suspicions

Ditto-head carved into his left forearm

A bald eagle clutching a bloody crucifix

On his right shoulder

 

Neighbors talked of his fundamental ignorance

Wild theories about Jews and liberals

Conspiracies on everything

From China to French fries

 

He harassed a Pakistani student once

Punched a black kid in the back of the head

Called him a welfare baby

Stole from the Korean owned liquor store

 

His girlfriend tried to calm his tendencies

She gently argued for restraint

Pleaded for compromise

And on Election Day, paid with her life

 

Artie stabbed her eighteen times

Once for every year that she had been alive

When asked why he did it, he said simply

She voted for John Kerry

 

From the book Anarchy Bell

 www.suburbanfiction.com

 

Reviews

[darkwolfalphapuppy]

very bold and very in depth of what is going around us all today. It speaks so much truth with races and the political world and how we are blinded by the political and goverment panick of terriosm and who we should vote for and control the united states. All the heated debates and how we are discrminate against what the goverment calls terriosm and what races we should fear. Very bold like i said and i am looking foward to reading more of ur poems and stories. this is the first that i read and i loved it! You really hit the nail on the head with this piece and i saw the images of the writing that expressed. Very good! Loved it!

[Raef C. Boylan]

So the voting age in America is 18 as well? Thanks for the info [I was never sure whether it was 21 or not].

I can tell that this is a good poem, because the story and narrative were so absorbing that I didn't notice the rhyme structure until the third read; it's unusual, and thus impressive that it works. Skilful. There doesn't seem to be any rhyming in the first stanza, other than the semi-matching resonance of "story" and "floor". Then, in the second, there's an imperfect rhyme in "suspicious" and "crucifix". In the third and fourth, there don't seem to be any rhymes...and then the final two stanzas go:
ABCC CCDD.
The appearance of rhyme towards the end is effective in giving a sense of finality.

I think the simplistic, factual way that you've narrated this also works well - the irreversible events have already happened...you pan in on scenes and past details like a journalist/reporter.

Great work.
Sad write, especially since we know that people with intolerant views like this exist.

Thanks for sharing this.

Wow,thats really cool,I havnt read any sort of political piece on here yet,the ending was awesome.

[Story Keeper]

I really like the title. It is like a story poem. A dark story. Well written.

[Ady]

Wow! Powerfully morbid stuff!

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Wow! That was very powerful. The poem flowed like a story while still keeping that poetic feeling. Very nicely done.
Love All, Mejasha

[Niki]

i like the poem ^-^ alot of inner turmoil going through his head and it shows. ^-^

[Dressed in Poetry]

Ouch. Fanaticism is never good. I like the consipracies on everything, and the fact that she fought for compromise, but was just ignored and killed. To me, it sounds like she is the liberal debate, massacred by the right-wing extremists. I like it.

[Andrew Watson]

I love it. It makes me think of all the narrow-minded rednecks I can't stand. A truly great job done of pointing out the foolishness of a stubborn and inconsiderate person.

[Lady Of Darkness]

A dark and morbid write.
Interesting 6th stanza and all because of who she voted for, now thats what you call sick.
Great write.

[Danielle Asher]

wow. well written. it's sick- but well written.