Stubbornness

The reason why change is often a slow journey.

Staid, brush fire dry, coat jacket sweat

The doors and windows are open

But the air does not move

 

Outside cool

Fresh trickles of delight

Dance in the lungs and on the eyes

 

There is no collaboration

From the outside spring shower

To the closed in parched swallow

 

                                      Neither is set to change          

Neither has reason or leverage

Neither will benefit

 

Two environments only one step away

Each the cure to the other

Each forever apart

 

 

www.suburbanfiction.com

 

Reviews

[Misa]

Well, l didn't quite get it the first or second time l read it, but reading it out loud kind of helped. Must be honest, this is a new - and welcome - style of poetry for me, so l found it quite...intriguing. Since it's new, though, l'll not say too much aside from the fact that l enjoyed it, and found certain parts - 3rd stanza, the imagery in the first - quite amazing.
good job, and good luck.
~Misa

[marsha]

loved it , understood it, very nice

[Ralphy]

I see this as two lovers that are lost from each other. One's a little stubborn and keeps the other at bay and the other has the warmth to dry away the tears. They have the antidote to cure their loneness but neither will give. That's what I saw. In any case it is a nice poem.

[Charisma Moonfairy]

I may not be used to this style of poetry, as I am mostly death and erotica and the like, but the picture does stand out loud and clear.

[Frances O'Neill]

This has a different sway on the imagination.

[Julian Laverne]

This poem has quite a classic intonation to it, which gives me an impression of the works of Whitman, or the like. Upon reading this piece for the first time, I saw it as very abstract. Even though you use everyday objects and observations, you rend them in such a way that it feels as though we are looking at them through a different perspective-this is quite impressive. In the end though, the feeling I got was a longing; a disparity for two seperate worlds to be conjoined once again.

Imagery and juxtaposition seem to be your main key elements of this poem and I have to say that I have never seem them used more accurately.

[Stephanie McCants]

I felt "so close but yet so far" Very well done and an enjoyable read that makes you feel the stand off.

[M. Amphet Salt]

I like the imagery in this piece in the first two stanzas . "Staid, brush fire dry, coat jacket sweat" is nice and paints a good mental picture. I like the way you contrast as well in the third stanza. It helps add scope to your message as you finish up in the fourth and fifth. I must say that they tone of the piece made it feel grim to me, but I quess that is part of meaning and part of your style.

[JanMarie]

I like your style here. I understood completely, particularly with the interesting observation in the final stanza -- "Two environments...Each the cure to the other." Nicely done.

[waywithwords]

A beautiful style of writing my friend. Environmental friendly indeed. I loved it.

[jesthepoet]

I really love this poem! This is a place I have been.