Stubbornness

The reason why change is often a slow journey.

Staid, brush fire dry, coat jacket sweat

The doors and windows are open

But the air does not move

 

Outside cool

Fresh trickles of delight

Dance in the lungs and on the eyes

 

There is no collaboration

From the outside spring shower

To the closed in parched swallow

 

                                      Neither is set to change          

Neither has reason or leverage

Neither will benefit

 

Two environments only one step away

Each the cure to the other

Each forever apart

 

 

www.suburbanfiction.com

 

Reviews

[Misa]

Well, l didn't quite get it the first or second time l read it, but reading it out loud kind of helped. Must be honest, this is a new - and welcome - style of poetry for me, so l found it quite...intriguing. Since it's new, though, l'll not say too much aside from the fact that l enjoyed it, and found certain parts - 3rd stanza, the imagery in the first - quite amazing.
good job, and good luck.
~Misa

[Lorraine Pearson]

Amazing the contrast in atmospheres...My eyes were ready to tear up from the smoke inhilation. Though-provoking write, I really had to pay attention. Nice flow.
~Lorraiyne

[BelieveInCelia]

"...only one step away"

Reminds me of love/hate .... what stands between is that 'thin line'....

Beautifully written.
Celia

[Chelsea Schermerhorn]

Once again, lack of punctuation prejudices me, but I like the concept and depth of this piece, as well as the non-classical feel, once again. Flow, again is an issue for me, but I'm beginning to realize that perhaps it is just your unique style of writing. In Flip Flops at 4, the lack of flow did not add to the piece, but in this one, it does, as you are contrasting two opposites sides of a spectrum. Thank you for your entry into the Any and All Poetry Contest. You have made it into the first cut of finalists.

[Midnight Shadow]

Brilliant imagery moves throughout this piece. Nice explanation of deep concepts with outside everyday reference points. Handled very nicely, my friend.

[justjenn_2u]

Seems like there is no way to feel the change in elements here except to stand on the inside and look out or to go outside and look in. In a way, reminds me of how people portray a different image of what is on the outside than what is on the inside. You have a rare talent in writing. I love this poem.

[@dan@]

How nice.
This write performs surgery on environmental constants that we may elude in definition
but encounter in thought, only to shuffle in our minds until gone.

Thanks for the memories Alex and your ability to be acute with abstract detail.

[~crazy Beautiful~]

nature is beautiful if we take the necessary time in life to sit back and smell the roses
, i loved the imagery in this piece
the calm serentiy
the first stanza is my favorite
nice piece,
thank you for entering my contest

[Chad Wesley Allbrett]

I love this one! I've been in places just like that. I like how you anthropomorphised environments by giving them character traits.
I've been in hot spring pools where two inches separated ice cold creek water and snow melt from hot water that was almost to hot to get in. -Nice job.

[Secret Life of Me]

Alex, I love the beat of this poem. It's rare to find a poem with a beat, and yours reminds me of W.H. Auden's poetry, who by the way, is one of my favs. Also, this is a bit Dylan Thomas-like, so now we're talkin'. Hope you win the contest.