(70) Demon's Brew

Bar tender, pour me another drink
For within this dank pity I wallow
Fill the whiskey full to the brink
So I can drown away my sorrow

Once, I was a man able to keep my cool
Never one for the rage to over take me
But bad times came and made me a fool
I allowed anger to always leave me empty

Come, I want you to fill my glass once again
I will be the one who decide when enough is enough
I want to swallow up when times were good, back then
Because now this life has become much too tough

Then fury visits me and his glass I hurl and smash
Unsteady on my feet I find my way out the door
People try to keep away, as at them I will lash
So now going home, I find myself crawling on the floor

Once inside, I will open another bottle to begin anew
They try to say I have a problem, and they are wrong
I can stop drinking, I can give up this Demon's brew
Because this man is able to stand and be strong

But in reality, I can not sleep for my spirit is weak
I say I need no one, because I fear my own shame
I want to stay drunk, because then I need not speak
I scream at the world when I know that I am to blame



copyright Chris Smith 1998

Author's Note

I battled with my Demons, I was one of the lucky ones and won.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

A friend, a dear friend who'd been a druggie for quite a while but had grappled his way out, said, 'I did what I wanted because there was no friggin' alternative - then i opened my eyes .. all I have to do now is stay alive.'

He's dead now.

Great and brave writing here .. takes strength to write like this. Keep strong

[Ravyne Hawke]

Excellent poem, Chris. I love the imagery and the rhythm and rhyme of this piece.. still battling my own demons.. glad you survived yours.

[northern monkey]

Great job Chris - you make a tough subject riveting.

[Coyote Poetry]

I knew the demons of anger and alcohol. Hard suckers to beat. Took some hard times and desperate people to make me change my ways. I like this poem. Took me back to days where anger and booze was my peace. A excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[anne p. murray- LadeeAn..]

What's your poison? The brew and the demons, or the demon and the brew.
Yes, so many people battle with these demons. My precious daughter was one of them; she's been sober for 2 1/2 years.
"But for the grace of God there go anyone"
I'm very proud of you for kicking the demon

Here's a poem I wrote re: this

Where Can I Hide
A Poem by Anne P. Murray---"LadeeAnne"
I wrote this for loved ones & others who've struggled down long, cumbersome roads of addiction.After long years af struggle and denial they won their battles and are free. I applaud their courage!

Where do I go, where can I hide?
There’s so much fear and pain inside
The secrets I keep, they’re killing my soul
I truly can’t allow anyone to know.
I can’t allow anyone to see
Can’t allow myself to be me
The chance of betrayal causes so much fear
I’m so afraid~
To allow anyone too near
So where can I go?
How much longer can I hide?
If I confess my secrets…
Will I be judged and tried?
I have so much guilt
My heart’s full of pain
There’s so much to lose
Yet so much to gain
Where do I go?
How much longer can I hide?
There’s so much shame
So many times I’ve tried
It’s touch on my spirit
It’s so hard on my pride
I’m so dam tired of acting
I’m tired of my lies
I’ve found rejection by myself and others
I’ve been lost and betrayed
My heart’s so weary
My nerves so frayed
No……
I will fight this war
I’ll fight to be free
I’ll never give up!
This addiction is not me!


Copyright:1998
LadeeAnne~Anne P. Murray

[Ashley]

this is so intensely emotional and personal...which is what makes is so beautiful to read. well done.

[.]

this is a story which resonates in so many lives..

[Sunni Davis]

I understand this because I've battled and beaten my own demons. Its exhausting and weary work but if you prevail, you have a strength and power like no other.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very well written poem! So glad you won your battle!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Kudos for your Author's Note especially. I think we have all, if you are human, struggled with times like these - and can relate. Well spun. Great cadence. Thanks for sharing.
Light,
Siddartha

[Hello, Goodbye]

I can totally relate to this.. It is also a challenge that I combat.. despondency often makes you turn to things that are nefarious in its ultimate outcome.. I can be thankful that at least as I post, the liquid of debauchery compulsion is under control..