i shave it off from myself

liking anonymity

I thought I would be happy if I were admired
but all I felt was faceless, every little blank faced
love clinging to my side and grinding on my mind
just in time to save my life from crime and other
scary things, little animals biting me
on my ankles and destroying my knees
I turned into an old women, prematurely.
I left a love to keep him from controlling me,
feeling like a lady in the smoke constantly 
scared me so, and scarred me more
Every time I walked, violins played idiosyncratically
behind my head, a band beat drums while
people dropped dead, a histrionic movie

that was merely a daydream, playing out to eat me.
so at the end of the day, I'm doing work 
for little money and after I buy food, I am shortly hungry
but the money is gone again. 
I have the worries constantly, swimming in gut

glassy on my eyes and waxy on my skin
but I shave it off from myself.