A Letter, Three Years After

my fair, my life has been of abundance without you.
but my gut still feels the pains, and as each month
ends, I never cease to fear you’ll be back again.

i am no longer seventeen.
i had an ache and a feeling that a loss of you
would continue to keep you with me.
my fear of you has turned out strong,
i think we knew all along that my
love for you also had to keep you from being.

i am still so sorry about that day.
sometimes i would pay all i have
to take it back.

sometimes i would rather have you
than the things i have now
because i know how priceless it would
have been to see you grow before me.

how selfish was i to make such a choice?
but i know it was mine, and you understand.
i was just too small in every possible way
to keep us held together.

i just didn’t have enough in me to house you, to have you.
All that it would take to be enough for you, i couldn’t have.

I broke the morning I let them take you.
I’ve yet to be able to handle that emptiness.
My intention was never to erase you.

three years hasn’t done much to refill me.
around me the air feels thick.
i don’t even feel a presence of you as
i once did before.

most of all I regret not looking at your shadow before it was gone.

i could cry, because it is just f*****g nothing.

i wish to have been better for you,
but i think it is obvious more than ever
that i made the right choice for both
of us.

Reviews

[Emrick]

So sad.there is nothing bad like regretting. .you ended your poem nicely n thats how everybody should roll like,always belive that you made the right choice n if u feel its wrong then hope that God will turn things for the good of you.

[Bruce]

"three years hasn’t done much to refill me.
around me the air feels thick.
i don’t even feel a presence of you as
i once did before."

fantastic lines!!