Being a Girl

Do you ever listen to yourself? Are you sure you aren't sexist?

My son just had an "ow" moment and was a bit over the top about it.  I immediately thought to myself "What a GIRL!"

 

For the first time in my life, I also stopped a moment, and considered what such a comment really meant.  I was using my OWN gender as a derogatory statement.  What did I mean when I called my nine-year-old son a girl?

 

I certainly didn't mean he was powerful, or strong.  I didn't even mean that he had self-control or any kind of patience. 

 

When I called him a girl, I was characterizing him as weak, emotional and a bit of a drama queen.

 

Oops!  Look, there it is again.  Notice there are no drama kings?

 

It seems that I never use female descriptions to describe powerful, mature, self-posessed people.  There is a part of me that believes there are OTHER women (but never me, of course) who might be whining, weak, dependent people, but embracing womanhood and my femaleness as a source of power is as far removed from my considerations as walking on the moon. 

 

Why is that?

 

Worse, what am I teaching my son?

 

Maybe it is time that I become aware of these words, and their power, and embrace the power within womanhood (we give birth, raise young, work hard and frequently do that sick, injured or beyond exhausted - that is hardly weak).  Maybe, next time that my son behaves in a manner that is weaker and less mature than I hope, I can instead say,

 

"What a boy..."

Reviews

[Jerri]

Too true Lisa...but I am sure this will be a turning point...you saw what you did and seek to change it. I too am guilty of this and will learn from what you pointed out.

[Wildfleour]

Or maybe, we are all human and prone to mistakes!

:)

An honest writing, Lisa.

[Legion]

Good point. A stereotype that has gone on way too long. I have often wondered how come women aren't considered the stronger sex for many of the reasons that you pointed out. But that aside, can I be a drama king? Can I? Huh? Huh? :)

Good write.

[WritefromtheHeart]

Oh Lisa....but see you are aware of what you were doing. This kind of stereotyping is ingrained in us from the time we are very small children and breaking away from it has to be a conscious decision. And that is exactly what you are doing...you making a choice to not say those things.

It's really funny you should write this as my daughter and I had a similar conversation tonight while watching something on TV where the kids (a boy and a girl) fit the roles we expect--the girl screamed at something she was afraid of...and the boy was the resourceful one who got the flashlight and tried to find an escape..SEE how it's fed to us constantly!!

Great, thought-provoking article!!