Blackbird, fly.

It was the beginning of 2011, and news reports of mass animal die-offs, deaths without explanation, were everywhere. This poem happened shortly after.

My shoulders fall defeated to heavy hands

hanging from our roadkill fights,

the same black bird buried into blacktop

by tires treading its feathers-

 

Oh John Lennon,

Did your blackbird ever fly so high?

 

The moon moves through me to you

So many miles away, while I pace over

A last-night’s party worn carpet,

Stare at those red, digital numbers

Wondering,

Are we just waiting for the end?

 

I think of Arkansas, those blackbirds,

the day after we all made resolutions to

be better people and then from the sky poured

death while dead drum fish washed ashore rivers-

 

How fast that left the news,

How fast we forget the past but how it’s spirit remains,

Carrying ourselves over the same carcasses

We’ll eventually become.

 

And all the while,

the birds-

 

Singing us to sleep.

Author's Note

I have yet to workshop this in any class or group, so any and all comments/critiques are not only welcomed, but greatly appreciated and encouraged! Be cruel or kind, as long as you are also honest. ;)

Reviews

[Relic]

Wow, the last 7 lines really complete this poem well. I see the poems is over 3 years old so my thoughts don't mean much now but the song was written and sung by McCartney not Lennon. Also, the title which drew me in sounds like its about birds but is actually about civil rights. I do think this is a good poem though regardless.

Nice work.

[Potter]

You have definite skill in your writing. I am not sure of where John Lennon fits in though.....

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i think this would have worked better if read a little closer to the events it references. i do remember the odd sequence of mass die offs of fish, birds and even cattle that happened within a month or two of each other. i think in time you may need to add a news clip of that time period as an introduction that explains the subject matter.

[.R.P.]

Works for me. Content wise this is sharp and pretty, and that's a great cocktail. Its up to you if you wish to expand on it, you certainly could but it is very capable of standing on its own. I'd only look at line breakage, breath, syntax. Arranging the words so you can emphasize the ones you want and then sercure the ones you want to undercut in places where they don't stick out, crown stanzas, or hang off the end of lines. Other than that This one is the best I've read so far from you Chris. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[samuel-james]

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. It had a very dark brooding feel that i loved and the imagery was great. Great job

[Transience]

your stuff makes me wonder if there are any real homo sapiens out there.animals everywhere-flying,crawling,walking,partying....the general lack of remorse is frighteningly spontaneous.were you aiming at dual meanings?i felt it to depict two kind of deaths-animals are dying and so are humans.it was kind of ironic-beasts are dying,yet bestiality is on the rise.loved these lines-

How fast that left the news,
How fast we forget the past but how it’s spirit remains,
Carrying ourselves over the same carcasses
We’ll eventually become.

was the use of tires a metaphor too,as in life morphing into a form of cruelty that's sorta complacent?couldn't get the john lennon reference.perhaps i am missing some vital part of your piece.still beautiful as to my limited interpretation.God bless.

[eglantine]

One of my favorite songs, I actually have "take these broken wings and learn to fly" tattooed on my back... http://media-cache-ec4.pinterest.com/upload/161707442840837914_16xKTJyc.jpg if ya wanna see it lol

As for the poem itself, very interesting topic, I can almost feel birds dropping from the sky like heartbeats. Not sure if I like the last line, there needs to be somenthing there, but not sure if "singing" is the right verb...

[Persephone]

Haunting composition- so true- you have a great talent :)

[Christie]

You're so kind and I greatly appreciate your feedback. Thanks so much. :-)

[.]

This is my favorite piece by you so far. I love the vivid imagery you use to get your point across in this masterpiece. It is true, we are the most destructive animal. Sometimes I do not know if I am lucky to be aware of these troubles, or wish to just be ignorant because its painful to know the truth. This poem is an eye opener.

[Christie]

Oh Cord, lately I've come to believe that we're much more alike than I ever would have thought. I debate the same thing with myself all the time! It seems so much easier to be ignorant, doesn't it? I try not to think too much about it though, because as I know you know, once you look down the rabbit hole, once you open that third eye, once you know the truth, there's no going back. Thanks so much for your comments and for your gracious compliments of this poem (a masterpiece? you're too much < 3). It means a lot to me.

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

This poem is so beautiful and amazing. I like how did a nice flow of words and thoughts.
Excellent job!
100/100

[Christie]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)