Remember

 

Remember

by

Jose M. Euvin

 

 

“Just sit down and imagine”

 

How proud you were

When I took my first steps

 

How

I love you mommy

Melted your heart away

 

Remember how cute

I looked

On my first date

How you wiped my tears

After burning the cake

 

Did you ever imagine?

Walking

Holding my hand

Reading me stories

While tucking me in bed

 

“Reality is”

 

You gave me warmth

And took it away

My body you ripped

And tore it to shreds

As you heard my screams

Not once did you pray

 

If there's really a God

I hope

She’ll forgive your mistakes

 

For my life

You destroyed

How selfish of you

 

“Time has come in a medical room”

 

As I start to face death

   

I’m screaming in silence

My eyes never open

To a world full of violence

 

You would’ve been proud

Of your baby one day

We create to destroy

And

My life you've taken away

 

Reviews

[Spoken]

I think the beginning confuses the rest of the poem a bit because you write as if the child was born

Remember how proud you were
When I took my first steps

How "I love you mommy"
Melt your heart away

Remember how cute I looked
On my first date

How you wiped my tears
After burning the cake

but i see your intention here, you want the mother to see what she has lost and/or missed out on. I think if the reader just looks at it as a mother who murdered her child it would be perfect.
that said I think it's a well written piece. "we create to destroy" how true. and i like the font change at the end, like a small child speaking those words

[Dead Angel]

whoa, this is very intense. it ached my heart as i read this, i'm pro-choice, but this poem was really vivid. great job! :)

[BrightEyes]

I agree with the comments below that the beginning confuses the message here....speaking as if the child had already been born...which led me to think more of child abuse as I read than abortion...perhaps a mother sitting by while another abused her child....bringing politics to poetry....always a risky business...yet, you must write what you feel....a good write.

laura

[Tempest]

It is a careful line we tread when we write about things we have not experienced. Politics and poetry.. not always the best combination but I believe you have made your point with great imagery and delivered a powerful blow to the heart. This is a difficult subject for me because there are many different sympathies that can fall in opposition to this subject, but again you clearly made your point. It feels as if it opens almost brightly and then punches you in the stomach in the end - just the impact.

[desertraven]

Rachel , i must agree with...this stings...but that is the makings of a great writer. I believe your point was made. Good write.
Sandra♥

[Bittercream]

This reminded me of my life, my experiences, my wounds. It touched me deeply and ... *hug*
I love how you put it, very well done!

[rachel D]

this stings. it's a good write, even though it may be a bit confusing in format.
the message is clear!

[Angelheaded Hipster]

I do like the message....and like someone had said below.....talking as if the child was already born may confuse the readers a bit.
It is a good piece though, and you did what you set out to do without it being preachy...good job.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

The message was very clear. Good job. Thank you for sharing. Debileah