In Silence

In Silence

by

Jose M. Euvin

 

 

Sleeping in silence

Screaming inside

 

Wish you could hear me

So

I can open my eyes

 

The cups are filled

With tears I shed

 

Scream of depression

While lying in bed

 

The night is immense

And

Sour are the tears

 

The silence amends

The worst of my fears

 

Can one really live

When life is a dream

 

Can I really expect

For you to hear my screams

 

The heart's really silent

When there's nothing left

 

It's hard to feel anything

With the calling of death

 

Reviews

[Querida]

The sheer emotion in this piece is what strikes me as the most inviting. You can nearly feel and hear this girl as she screams for release. Your flow is amazing, if a teensy bilt stilted. Personally, I believe this enhances the read. How can one create amazing, smooth rhythms when life itself does not work that way?

I truly found beauty in this pice of art.

[Midnitefyrfly]

The words take me back to a dark and familiar place I have been. I agree that the ryhmes are very well chosen, the rythym is great, and the read is smooth.

[Tessa Anne]

the rhyming scheme was amazing, as well as staying focused and on topic.
i dont really have to say it but i'm going to anyways.
I LOVED IT!!!

[Eyeliner W***e]

I have to say I love the rhyming(sc). This is soo good, the details, and just the way you say everything, amazing! I don't thin i've read anything by you that I don't love! This one is no exception! I love the idea, its so true, the heart screaming out with no one to hear!! Sorry, rambling. I can't help it! Really Good Job!!

[Touché Armada]

Yes, a great write, and the yelling ,, well you know I think yell loud enough and your sure to raise a listener or two, might not be the audience you were looking for,, but hey you never know who you might disrupt. Whispers are good =)

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I really enjoyed this piece. And that was a K.O. ending!

[Sara Muschweck]

Such a strong work, full of the pain and depression, wishing someone could reach through the darkness, yet knowing that no matter the help you have you will still suffer in silence. Wonderful write.

[Cataline]

Amazing poem!

I felt a flow through three different mental stages: Wishing (Sleeping in silence...open my eyes), Examining your situation(The cups are filled...Sour are the tears), and Realization (The silence amends...With the calling of death.), when one finally comes to terms with his situation.

It also makes me think of the 3 stages of life/maturity/wisdom. Little children hope, adults examine their lives (what am I doing, how can I change this, this is what is happening now), and elders are wise and have (in most situations, come to terms with the world, their lives, and death. (Of course, I could be way off)

Happy Writing! =(^;^)=

[Robert Luna]

This has a wonderful flow and a powerful darkness that seep sadness with golden tears. The way you capture the underlying hurt of a heart and are able to paint it with such a grace is wonderful.

Great Job!!!!!!

[Roy]

YIKES! I think this one has your best rhymes yet while losing nothing in the message and the lines. The message is powerful and clear..very scary..very intense..but clear...it somehow reminds me of of Munch's famous painting "The Scream". A+