Beautifully Neglected

This is a poem I wrote awhile ago.

The witch slept soundly in her

naked slumber upon her

sofa fold out bed

With white death still lingering in her

crooked nose and 

scarred veins and

tools of the trade thrown about like

rolled up food stamps 
bent spoons and 

the infamous glass mouth

The pitter-patter of little pounding heart beats could be heard

Him with his
              

barefooted hunger


Her with her 
              

chocolate chipped craves

Escaped to the bedroom with bumbling bouncing bunk beds

of infinite possibilities

Withdrawn by the hallway of honored horror picture shows

hung high upon the walls

Captivated with the kept unclean kitchen forever around the corner

but never around the bend

Trapped in the always active apartment with ample aggressive strangers

except for when the drug binge ends



The pitter-patter of furiously pounding heart beats could be heard



Him with his
              

He-man pajama-ed anger


Her with her 
              

My little pony pajama-ed rage

Presumed oblivious to the

wonderfully dreaded

world around them

But in truth 

it was the world 

who was 

oblivious to the

beautifully

neglected 

them

Author's Note

Any kind of feedback will be appreciated. Please be honest and brutal if needed.

Reviews

[_mal]

You built the image in that first stanza perfectly. The next bit would read better to me if you changed barefooted to barefoot and craves to cravings, but that doesn't really matter. If you left the poem there that would strike hard. The whole thing is thought provoking and strong though

[Matt Anderson]

I like it a lot, I like the way it portrays the absolute scum of society, and throwing kids in it just makes it all that more disgusting. Perfect. I also love "Beautifully neglected" and "Wonderfully dreaded" Good job man, nice read.

[Mary]

I love how you opened discribing her as a witch, adds the childs imagination to the picture.

[Mary]

A beautifully drawn horrble picture.