Grumpy Girl

Trying to create a nursery rhyme inspired by a photographer

Grumpy girl,Grumpy girl
Lovely pearl,Lovely pearl

Your dress is so magical
Your work is so poetical

Your camera looks practical
Its clicks are very musical

You are quite smart and vocal
You greet all - foreign or local

Grumpy girl,Grumpy girl
Lovely pearl,Lovely pearl

Author's Note

Please suggest me how to write lovely nursery rhymes.

Reviews

[Mic]

For me, nursery rhymes are more about word play than meaning. It's all in the cadence. The words should bump each other along... as yours do here. Mix in some alliteration, but don't force it.

It's all about pleasing the little ears inside your head.

You're well on your way. Well done!

[zainul]

Thank you Mic for the inspiring words.
I appreciate your wonderful review.
I will concentrate on this genre soon as children may like them.

[s y e]

This was sweet and really good! :)

[Rakhsharimaya]

I somehow like this very much... the rhyme..

[zainul]

I feel very blessed that you liked the piece.
Thank for the inspiring review.

[ms. barrie]

this is a very enchanting nursery rhyme, your words and rhymes, evoke lyrical pensiveness. i could almost hear one singing this to their child, a bedtime lullaby. brilliant write! thanks for sharing, and thank you for reviewing "Writer's Block" - Namaste!

[zainul]

Thank you Barrie for filling my morning with joy(we have morning in Bangladesh now!)
Yes,I aspire to be a nursery rhyme writer.I feel very happy to think children are going to sleep with the bedtime lullaby.
I hope to come back soon to your wonderful writes.
Best wishes,
Zainul

[ms. barrie]

aw thank you, your writings are very enlightening and put a smile on my face. and i think you achieved that aspiration. feel free to come back and visit my profile anytime. And you do the same for me as well, regarding filling my mornings (yay you have mornings now!) with joy also! Namaste!

[zainul]

I feel your lovely gesture across the great distance between us.
I am very blessed to have a wonderful friend like you.
Have nice time from one morning to another morning :)
Namaste!

[ms. barrie]

aw, i feel the same way about you. You radiant positive light that draws one in, and you're writings are inspiring and i find comfort in your encouraging words you share with everyone on here. it's lovely to read, you also, my friend! Namaste to you also!

[zainul]

Thank for the very lovely compliments.
See you soon.

[ms. barrie]

you welcome, see you

[Eve]

I love this, it has the perfect sing song quality to be a nursery rhyme, I would would read this to a little girl at bedtime!

[zainul]

I am very pleased to read your inspiring review.
Please let me know the little girl responds.
I adore your amazing support.

[mandy]

very nice,,i like the grumpy and lovely both,,,like trying t woo a little miss grumpy out of her grumpiness,,,lol,,,but sorry to say, not crazy about the political reference in a child's poem..hell, i don't even like political stuff for myself...(4 more days, ,,, sigh)

[zainul]

Thanks for your admiring review.
I will soon eliminate the political reference.
Adore your lovely contribution.

[Brenda Alicia]

I really do enjoy this... I have no credibility to constructively criticize; but I love the word play

[zainul]

Thanks for your wonderful review.
I feel that your criticism is highly constructive.
Engage more time in reading and reviewing the works of other writers.
This will help you a lot.
Best wishes :)

[quinfinn]

whimsical and fancy free. lovely. nursery rhymes are intended for children so use subject matter which is attractive to a child and employ cute rhymes in the ABAB
format. fantasy and fun.....

[zainul]

Thank you for the wonderful guidance and review.
I have to work hard to be able to write nursery rhymes.
I admit it requires serious attention and perseverance to reach the hearts of children.
They can't be served anything as caprice.

[quinfinn]

child fantasy is innocence and wonder, indeed not easy to capture.

[zainul]

Yes,I agree with you, dear friend.
Thanks for your lovely guidance.

[Arielle Ann]

Nice and cute lines..however for a nursery rhyme dont you think it could be a bit more simple?

[zainul]

Yes,Arielle.I agree with you.
I will try to make it simple later.
Thanks for the compliments and lovely review.

[Arielle Ann]

Nice and cute lines..however for a nursery rhyme dont you think it could be a bit more simple?