A promise once kept

It hurts. My chest hurts from not being able to breath. My head hurts from those nasty thoughts racing through my head. My arms hurt from where I keep scratching myself. My ears hurt from the yelling back and forth. My eyes hurt from the unshed tears. Everything hurts and I can't deal with it. I'm sad all the time. I'm tired. I feel sick. When I eat, I eat a lot or not at all. I skip breakfast and dinner, only finding an appetite during lunch. I buy a breakfast at school, but I don't want to eat it. I look in the mirror and I see a younger version of me...scared and alone. A younger version of me with eyes who have seen too much and a heart that has been broken then glued back together only to be broken again. I see a younger version of me trying to soothe a crying toddler in her arms, trying to protect her from this cruel reality we live in. I see myself hugging her close, I see myself hugging my crying sister because she was in pain. When I hugged her, we would repeat a promise we have made each other. "We will always be together. No one can tear us apart. We will fight together or die trying. We will live together, and we will strive together." We have kept to this promise. But living hurts. Fighting hurts. I don't even know what we're fighting for anymore. I want to live in a world with no pain, no sadness or fear. I don't want to have to be afraid anymore or wonder which day would be my last. I want to be able to have fun without worrying about the consequences. I want to go to school and not have to worry about safety. I want to be able to climb trees withough worrying about falling. And if I do fall, I hope someone will be there to catch me.