I Wonder...

Just something I thought up at 3:30 am... just doing some wondering.

 

I heard a story once

Of a man who took upon himself

All the pain and injury

Of those who suffer

 

He would walk the streets,

Remove the patch from a man’s eye

And wear it upon his own

 

And the man would see

 

He would go to the cripple,

Take from them their crutch,

Lock it into place under his arm

 

And the cripple would walk

 

He would hobble to the broken hearted,

Carefully remove their heart

And replace it with his own

 

And tears would smear the dirt on his face

 

He would go at last to the dying,

Remove from them what kills them

And place it upon himself

 

And go off to be alone

 

Now in the story

When the man was alone he would die.

But in a glorious light

He was reborn, whole again

 

This man was in fact an angel.

 

I could not help but wonder…

What of the mortals who,

From sheer love,

Take upon themselves

The terrible maladies of the suffering

 

And at the end of a good day,

When many have been freed of burdens

And many pains eased

And many sufferers helped

 

I wonder… I could not help but wonder…

Why are they not made whole again?

Why must they try to sleep with the pain of others,

When the lord himself relieves his angels from it?

 

What sort of lord rewards kindness with extra servings of pain?

Rewards selfishness with blissful ignorance?

What sort of Lord?

 

But as my wondering always does

This led me to more wondering…

When used correctly,

Does not pain lead to growth?

Does not ignorance light the path to hell?

 

I wonder… I wonder…

Is it that through such pain,

The good shall be made whole?

That in such ignorance,

The selfish shall become broken?

 

Is this the way in which the world rights itself?

 

And there is another story

One that makes me wonder, such as that one before

Just this simple idea from it:

‘All men die, but not all men truly live’

Yes, all this makes me wonder…

 

I wonder… will you truly live today?

Author's Note

I really want to know how big of an impact it has. Grammar, word usage, anything, do what you will, but the impact is the key here. Describe to me what you feel. Do you feel nothing? I wonder... Do you feel something strong? I feel as though the end falls short of what I want. Please offer your views.

Reviews

[Aimee Mahathy]

Wow. This has to be one of the best, most thought provoking, and overall awe-inspiring poems I've read in a while!
I, myself, am not very religious, but I do like to look at things in a religious light. I don't really know -how- that works, but it does. My mom, however, does. And she wonders the same thing, all the time. She'll ask me, day after day, "Liz, why is it that I have done so much good, and have suffered so long, yet still He doesn't relieve me?" all I can offer is the hope that someday He will. And she sees these people, who keep being selfish and lying all the time, yet they are rewarded. So my advice does nothing.
But your poem here, really puts all of that into great perspective! Somehow, in all my time of wondering those same things, I have yet to come up with that conclusion. And it does make sense! A great deal of sense. And that is amazing! I am actually grateful that it does! I figured the poem would end with you still wondering. But to my delight, I was surprised with a theoretical answer. And that's wonderful.
As far as the poem itself goes, like structure and all that- Still, great job! The way it was written, kind of reminded me of a more-readable style of the biblical writing. Which added to the effect of it, as a whole, greatly; given the theme.
Simply concerning the impact of it- wow. It really did hit me hard. I half want to wake my mom up now to read it to her! XD Maybe I'll bookmark it and read it to her later~ Wow is really all I can say on that subject. Sorry~
I don't think the end is lacking at all. In fact, I quite like how it ends! The final line seems essential to me. It's as though you're telling this tale, then apply it to humanity as a whole; like you're revealing something great to the world, and then you hand it to the world and say "Go." And that's amazing.
Wonderful, wonderful job you've done here! Thank you so much for sharing this!~

[Jessica]

Wow! good job! this poem is really thought provoking and inspiring. i feel the same wayyy! your poem reminded me of a qoute i heard once it said something like it is one thing to be alive but another to actually live. i liked this alot good job!

[..R.I.P..]

i feel like.........wondering with you what all this means. i don't know how else to put my feelings into words. this piece is so thought provoking and awe-inspiring. every man has their demons and angels, but i've always wondered which one has a strongest influence over us. my demons have the upper hand in my life bc i let my demons get to me more than my angels, but idk why. anyways, this is an amazing piece. great write.

thanks for sharing.
~JaniK

[liers]

i have began to doubt this so called "God" i agree strongly with you this has further proven one side of my argument with myself.

[Audrey Bruckner]

This poem brought me a feeling of being small in comparison to the world. I do not think the end falls short in fact it drives the whole idea home very well. Your writing talents are awesome. Keep provoking such strong emotions with your writing ;)

[Str8jacket]

We suffer so that we can learn to love even the most broken of people. Through our mistakes we learn and we grow. And it has been said that God only gives us as much as we can bear. What is to say that when these good people die that are not made whole and rewarded in the afterlife? We learn so much from so many good people in history. Martin Luther King jr. would be one example. We learned so much from his life and through his death others made sure his teachings and principles would not be forgotten. The last line was a strong one. It makes the reader question their life, question what they'd like to leave behind in the world. This is a strong poem, and a very worthy read. This has a subtle flow but a strong message, and by thinking that it somehow falls short, that reflects the goodness in yourself. Good job and keep writing :)