In This Room

A poem about Bereavement. For mum.

In this room

I watched you die

 

Surrounded by all your things

I grieved

looked in your cupboards

touched your clothes

put my feet in your shoes

listened to your songs

on your stereo

lay foetal on your bed

cried on your covers

breathing in your scent

 

I wonder

do you watch over me

as I watched over you

kept you company

when all you could manage

was to meet my eyes and

smile for the briefest moment

before closing them again

and drifting somewhere else

I could not follow

Reviews

[Rain]

April..
God, this is such a touching remembrance. It is so poignant, sliding your feet in her shoes, listening to her music. She must have been a wonderful mother, she left us with you, and she will always live through you. I can't tell you how this moved me. Just a beautiful tribute to a mother moved on. I loved this.

Did you mean fetal? foetal

[__Flaw__]

Aww....very sad indeed....beautiful and moving.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

This is why sometimes I find poetry so difficult. You endeavor to read someones work and you get swept into their hurt or their anguish or their fear. That's what good poetry does, and that's what this poem does. It's almost enough to make one avoid being close to anyone.

The pain of loss, so thoroughly presented.

[Imperfection]

This has touched me deeply.
Words can't console you, nor can anything else that I know of.
But memories of the times spent with your Mum and the closeness you've shared will give you the strength to go through the pain.
It is not easy to put all this down in words; I really admire your courage.

[R J Askew]

almost painfully intimate...very personal and very real.

[D. R. Fitzgerald Jr]

Sorry for your loss. Very good poem.

Surrounded by all your things
Looked in your cupboards
Touched your clothes
Put my feet in your shoes
Listened to your songs
On your stereo
Lay foetal on your bed
Cried on your covers
Breathing in your scent

[Brentley]

Good Job. I really liked it. I have one suggestion though. You started repeating surrounded by all your things. I think that would be something that would be good if you carried it through. It would speak levels I think. Though that was really powerfully stuff. It was very heart wrentching and anyone who has lost a parent will fill something here.

[Nathan Strange]

Hey, an emotional poem here, it draws tears, really, wow, very redemptive, nostalgic, lonely, I can't say much more than this is an emotional bullet with a wounding last line. POWERFUL STUFF!! sorry for your loss, hope u r well.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

I also wath and sat with my mom when her time came and it is a painful thing you have express
so admirably in this piece and my heart goes out to you. This is a beautiful tribute to your Mom
and the way she nurtured you.
Debby

[the poet who never was...]

SAD. i can relate to this somewhat as I almost lost my mom and 4 other family members SAturday when her house burned to the ground--i tried not to but could not help focusing on the "what if?" and that alone was enough to send me into tears...Im really close with my mom too so I felt your pain about as much as I could be expected to. But reading this, it seems like hers may have been a slow death and the pain you felt powerless to help her is expressed very dearly here. A poignant tribute to your pain! I would say that I look forward to reading more of your work but i am afraid it may affect me as much as this. such is life and the trade off we take to read just a glimpse into someone elses life for a moment...

[Ashentara]

so sad and terribly true, as in this is the reality when we lose someone
I'm sorry for your loss. Words don't help, I know... but I'm here if you wanna talk.