Jeremy

My back hit the soft sheets and he was on top of me, kissing my neck and my chest. I was completely immersed in passion and his sweet darling lips. I could feel his lips trailing lower, it was amazing. He made his way back up to my lips and kissed me with more love than I could imagine. He kissed my neck up to my ear and softly whispered, "I love you, so much, Emerald." I closed my eyes and kissed him. I was not saying those words to him. I couldn't. As wonderful and perfect and great as he was my heart belonged to the reckless bad boy I had met four years ago down in Corpus Christi. We had dated for a year, were engaged and incredibly happy. Until he had to move to Mexico to take care of his sick mother. My heart had never broke into so many pieces. The day he left he took my heart, every single piece of it. It sounded so sappy, so impossible, but every bit of it was true. There was nothing fake about it. Both of us were more in love with each other, than we even knew was possible. I missed him so much. Jeremy is great, and he's a sweet guy, but he's not Edmar. He's not the man I love. I sat up in bed. I couldn't make love to this man. He loved me yes, he wouldn’t ever hurt me. I know. I couldn't hurt him though. He deserved so much more than the girl in love with someone else. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He was expecting an "I love you", or an I'm sorry, not tears. Not the rivers flowing down my cheeks now.

I looked at Jeremy and hugged him tightly, letting him know it wasn't that I didn't care about him. I did care about him... I kissed his cheek and cried harder. Jeremy just held me closer. He didn't have to ask what was wrong. He knew I was thinking of Edmar. He knew there couldn't be an us until I had talked to Edmar, or at least tried one more time. I closed my eyes trying to stop the tears but I couldn't. Jeremy was rubbing my back and softly singing in my ear. It was so relaxing. I took his hands and laid back down cuddling against his chest. He was so strong, so was Edmar... His arms wrapped around me holding me to him. He kissed my head then began singing again. It was a soft song. He had written it for me when he had asked me out.

                    "When the wind blows your hair,
                    I get lost in your eyes
                    I try so hard to find my way
                    but the beauty it captivates
                    Baby, I can't let you cry
                    Your tears, they break my heart.
                    Take my hand and I'll show you
                    The empty part
                    I saved it for you."

His voice was almost as sweet as his soft lips. It blew my mind to think that this man could love me this much. That Jeremy, knowing I was in love with another man still wanted me. Wanted me to be his. He wanted to help me through the hurt, and take care of me no matter what. He was going to wait for me. Show me that someday Edmar wasn't coming back. So that I knew, the guy who truly loved me was the guy I was laying in the arms of. Jeremy kissed my head and I could barely say, "thank you", before I drifted off to sleep. I woke up at about four a.m. to Jeremy crying, sitting on the edge of the bed. I wanted to roll over and pretend I hadn't woke up, but I knew it was my fault he was crying. I sat up and put my hand on his back. He immediately sucked up his tears and turned around, wiping his face. "Oh, Emerald. You're awake. Did I wake you up? I'm so sorry. Babe go back to sleep I'm fine." He looked into my eyes, embarrassed. Finally, he turned back around and with his elbows on his knees leaned over and put his face in his hands.

I moved over and sat next to him, wrapping my arm around him and putting my head on his shoulder. I started singing his song softly. He smiled at me and hugged me. I could still feel the urge in him to cry. I knew he was crying because I don't feel like I can say I love you. He felt bad for saying it. I felt bad for not saying it, but this was just how our relationship was. I continuously tried to leave him, but he kept reminding me he knew how it was suppose to be. He just wanted to try because the day it changed he didn't want to lose a second. I didn't mind it so much because it didn't hurt me. Except for on emotional nights, like this one had been. We both were. I kissed his shoulder, since that was all I could reach without having to get up and he smiled then picked me up and put me back in bed, lying next to me. He pulled the covers up over us and held me to his chest. I loved it when he did this. I felt so small but loved. So... protected. He began singing his song to me again and I fell back asleep. I am not sure if he ever went back to sleep, but when I woke up in the morning he was laying there listening to music. Holding me to him still. I smiled at him and put my hand on his chest. He leaned in and kissed me. "Such sweet lips to wake up to." I smiled brighter.

After last night I knew. I couldn't hurt this man. I knew why it bothered me so much last night that he was upset. I knew why I couldn't just have rolled over and gone back to sleep. He was looking into my eyes, as I was realizing this and he gazed at me with a confused stare. I kissed him again with passion. He pulled me closer to him then looked into my eyes again.

"What is on your mind, my love? I must know. You keep giving me a look. I've never seen you look at me like that before." Jeremy's voice was a bit desperate and confused.

I leaned down and kissed him again, then smiled brighter than I had in a long time. It made him smile too. I leaned my head down next to his and kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, "I love you." A huge smile stretched across his face from ear to ear and he hugged me tightly softly expressing his love for me, in sweet words that took my breath away.

Reviews

[emily joe]

I really like this. It is so sweet! You write very nice love stories, I'll tell you that! The ending is not what I expected, but I'm glad she realized that she was in love with Jeremy. So sweet. Love it! :D

[Jenna]

Well this is very loving haha. Its sorta hard to read because it is so loving and thats always awkward for me. Emerald unique name kudos