Chapter 2 | | The Online Writing Community
Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A Chapter by Asir Y.R

The morning sun clearly manifested Mark’s unique facial features, including his many freckles and his jet-black hair which- despite the dirt living in it- shone in the sunlight along with his emerald-green eyes which focused on the stern female figure standing 5 inches from his face.  She was slightly shorter than he was with her straight, black, shoulder-length hair blowing in the gentle breeze that swept over the hillsides.  Her dark brown eyes seemed to peer into Mark’s soul as she scolded him for something unknown to the two bystanders.  She had a pale- almost transparent- face that was the shape of a perfect circle.  Her gentle sloping nose seemed to twitch a little as her thin lips formed a scowl.  She opened her mouth again and proceeded to continue scolding him as if no one was watching.  She had sort of an Irish tilt in her voice as she spoke.

“Your immaturity is going to wind up getting you into some serious trouble, Mark!” she exclaimed, her nose twitching, “Do you wanna end up like the others!? Huh!? Cuz that’s what you act like, and you know good and well that if you have to get taken to ‘Momma’s’ quarters, you liable to never come back alive… is that what you want!?” she stared into his still cheerful green eyes searching for an answer.  When he finally spoke it was to greet Naiya who was standing who, along with the boy, was watching the entire thing.

“Hey, Naiya, you caught up,” he smiled, as his country accent rang through.  He then lifted his broad eyebrow and looked at the other figure. “Why are you following her around? Hey Naiya,” he whispered loudly, “I think he’s stalking you.”

“Mark, don’t start changing the subject just because Naiya and Azazel are standing here,” she said pointing to them.  

“Oh c’mon Kat,” he said running his fingers through his glistening black hair, “Why do ya have to go and make a big deal over nuthin!?” Exhausted, he let out a sigh and looked up at the sky.  “See look, it’s not even ‘high-time’ yet, and you over here getting all riled up over nuthin!”

“It’s not about that you idiot,” she exclaimed, the Irish tilt in her voice ringing through. “It’s the fact that you always behave like a-a…” she pondered for a minute as her nose twitched. “You act like whatever you do has no consequence.  You go around and do whatever you like and don’t stop to think about the effect it has on others.  That’s bloody idiotic of you, Mark, and one day you’re gonna suffer the consequences of your actions, just mark my words.”  She finished her speech and her round face took on an even paler look- if that was humanly possible-than usual.  

Defeated, Mark turned to question Naiya and Azazel. “Well, what do you think?” his beaming smile was replaced by a look of something cross between annoyance and defeat.

“I think…” Naiya pondered for a moment, causing all eyes to turn to her.  She then smiled and replied imitating Kat, “I think you’re a bloody idiot.”

Everyone bursted out into laughter- well, everyone except Mark who was deliberately making his skinny black eyebrow twitch- at the remark she made as they all went to a series of long, broken down train cars.  Inside some of these old, gray and rusty carts were a number of headlamps, axes, and bottles, and inside others were a number of canteens, boots, and some overalls.  Each of them picked one of each item the carts had to offer except for the overalls since theirs were in pretty good condition- but not stylish or chic but rather ugly and drab. They strapped on their helmets in silence and grabbed their axes and canteens to fill them with water.  Naiya and Azazel walked over to a nearby well that was positioned in the middle of the gathering area where the other workers were chatting.  Shuffling through the rowdy crowd once more they finally reached the well without being run over and without impaling anyone with their axe.  Though it was pretty tempting for Naiya.  A rope hung from the stone roof of it with a bucket tied to the end of it.  Azazel let Naiya.  She opened her olive-green canteen of a cylinder-like shape and sent the bucket down into the water.

“So who are you going to be mining with today?” Naiya asked nonchalantly.

“Well,” he considered carefully for a moment, “I don’t really know, but to tell you the truth I would kind of rather mine alone because the other people that I have mined with are either too talkative, too demanding, or just plain too weird and annoying.”

She stopped, amazed at all they had in common- but tried not to let it show. She never bothered to try and make any ties with others. In fact, aside from all being prisoners in this hell-hole, Naiya didn’t really think anyone could relate to her or her feelings.  Everyone was a stranger to her and she didn’t care. If you didn’t make any ties, she would say to herself, you will never have to be heartbroken if someone dies.  She didn’t even choose to become friends with Mark and Kat, but Mark would pester her so much that she didn’t really have a choice and as for Kat, well she was a friend of Marks so that couldn’t really be helped. But besides those two and her sisters, she had no ties to anyone and didn’t plan on making anymore with this Azazel.   In an effort to show that she did not care, she simply shrugged her shoulders and pulled up the bucket now full of water to pour it into her canteen.  After she was satisfied, she stepped aside and let Azazel fill up his canteen.  Mark and Kat came sauntering along to join them with Mark still pouting a little.

“You know, you two could have waited for us you know,” Kat said unscrewing the top on her red thermos-like canteen to save time.  Mark replied with a ‘Yeah’ in agreement and Naiya just shrugged her shoulders and turned away from them.

“You oughta move faster instead of arguing with each other like ‘bloody idiots’,” she replied still mimicking the Irish tilt in Kat’s voice.

“How come you never do me?” Mark whined.

“Yours is boring,” she answered facing them once more and when she saw that he was going to once again commence to whining she continued, “But if it will make you shut up… ‘Hi ev’rybody my name is Mark and I’m as Kat says a ‘bloody idiot’,” she finished and earned a chuckle from Kat.  At Mark’s pathetic scowl, she sighed quietly and brushed her hand through her shoulder length brunette hair muttering, “Just never satisfied,”.  Azazel had finished filling his canteen allowing Kat to come and quickly fill hers.

Mark had just finished with filling his canteen when the loud high-pitched and irritating sound of a whistle that caused all noise to cease.  Even the sound of the bird’s tweeting seemed to stop as the redheaded ‘Momma’- boots managing to click in the dirt- came through the crowd of ‘workers’ that had made a clearing and stood in the center of the circle that had closed around her and her two henchmen- the short, stubby Barry and some other taller man. She carried in her dainty hands a clear fishbowl halfway filled with white scraps of paper.  She began to speak with a loud, clear, and country voice.

“A’ight now! Ya’ll know how this works so I don’t have to explain it to ya’ll.  Today’s a mighty fine day and I expect each and every one of you,” she focused her green eyes specifically on Azazel, “To fill up yer carts with them diamonds, ya hear!?”

Everyone except Naiya and Azazel replied with a “Yes ‘Momma’!”

“And anyone who doesn’t  ‘ll be takin the night shift and’ll be missin dinner for the next three days.  Is that clear!?” again she focused her green eyes on Azazel who moved his mouth along with Naiya as if they were saying “Yes ‘Momma’!” along with everyone else. Trying his best to keep from scowling and throwing his axe in her ‘ugly’ face- as he called it- he stared at the ground, his stomach growling from hunger.  Satisfied, she reached her right hand with it’s red nail polish into the clear fishbowl she had, as she was talking, handed to the taller henchmen and pulled out two white pieces of paper.

“A’ight, looks like we got,” she separated the two pieces and unfolded them, “Azazel and Naiya!” she exclaimed and the two of them stepped forward.  “You two will take (mine) #45” she commanded as she handed them two clear, dirty badges with the numbers 45 on them.  She held them out with her fingertips and gave them to Azazel who maintained a straight, expressionless look, and to Naiya, who was disheartened that she had to spend more time with Azazel
when she would rather have been working alone.

As she started back to the crowd with Azazel she muttered very lowly to herself, “Of course I get paired up with him… i bet that old witch did that purposely.”  

“Mark and Kat! (Mine) #3!” she called out as Naiya and Azazel walked through the crowd as they cleared the pathway for them towards another part of the worksite located to the west of where everyone was gathered.  There were large numbers to indicate which mines were which and mine 45 was particularly a dark one where no one wished to particularly mine due to the lives that were taken inside of it.  Mine 45 seemed to kill more workers than any of the other mines put together. They walked in silence until they reached the entrance of the dark tunnel.  Beside it there were two carts identical to the ones where they got their equipment out of.  Naiya’s eyes grew wide with indignation as she surveyed them.

“Two!? I thought we were supposed to fill only one!? What the hell is two freaking carts doing here!?” she exclaimed as she kicked one of the carts at random and tried to ignore the pain that coursed through her when she did so.  Azazel on the other hand, remained expressionless and sighed.  

“It’s probably a punishment to me for not being able to fill my cart yesterday.  The person I was working with fell ill an hour in and had to be taken inside and I was to fill it by myself.  Although I was relieved by the solitude,” he said in his silky voice, “It’s much harder to fill when you’re alone and consequently I only got it three-quarters of the way by ‘clockout-time’.  I had to stay during the night and finish the job and I will not get any food for the next three days.”  He sighed and rolled one of the carts- it was on a train track- into the mine but stopped short upon entering it.  He turned his back and looked at Naiya, his hazel eyes glistening in the morning sun and his dark brown hair blowing in the gentle breeze.

“Coincidentally I was mining in here… not trying to discourage you but,” he paused for a minute, “But I think…” he paused once more at the look of worry on Naiya’s face and shook his head. “Nevermind.”   

He stepped into the intense darkness without another word.  He could hear the sound of Naiya’s cart approaching behind him as he clicked his headlamp on, though the light from it hardly did any good.  For though they were used to abiding in darkness, it still would take time for their eyes to fully make out the landscape around them, but they had a general idea for the layout was similar to the other mines. They strolled deeper and deeper into the darkness while their owl-like eyes scanned the area looking for any twinkling or shimmering.  Nothing. Not even a small glitter in all of the intense darkness.

“Is it just me, or does this mine seem a little…” started Naiya, still behind Azazel pushing her cart behind his, “bare?”

He said nothing but kept looking around hoping to find at least one small diamond in the midst of all the cold, hard rock.  If he didn’t that meant no food for the rest of the week and no food for Naiya three days.  What would happen, he wondered, if there were only enough to fill one of our carts? He looked back to find the dark outline of Naiya’s form searching in the darkness as well.  He would have to fend for himself, he thought.  If it came down to him or her or anyone else, it would always be him.  Just like it was his entire life. Him or me? Me.  Always me. He turned around and focused straight ahead .  

“I don’t think we’re gonna find any diamonds in here, Naiya.” he said gravely.

A sickening feeling settled in her stomach and knotted there as she started to frantically look around.

“I cannot to be here all night.  I can’t so we have to find these diamonds.  C’mon keep going.” she commanded.

“Look, Naiya, I really don’t think that we are gonna find anything down here. Listen let’s jus-”

“No, you listen.” she retorted attempting to stop her strong urge to just angrily shove him out of the way, “ I’m not spending all fricking night inside this dark cave.  I have two little sisters I have to take care of. Now maybe you,” she pointed an accusing finger at him, “can do that because you have no life whatsoever, but I do.”  she finished.   He stared at her and could faintly see the deep scowl engraved on her pale face.  Saying nothing, he kept pushing his cart forward.

They walked for about five minutes in utter silence-except for the occasional clanking of their carts on the tracks- until they reached a fork in their path.  Which way, left or right?  Azazel pondered for a minute as Naiya came up behind him.

“You go left and I’ll go right,” he said lowly.

She nodded ‘okay’ and started off, “And if I find any diamonds I’ll let you know,” she looked at him blankly awaiting his nod. The two of them then separated.

Azazel walked warily down the tunnel into uncharted territory.  He didn’t know what lie down the dark tube.  Neither of them ever had any reason to venture so far down, and if the tunnel stretched this far, he wondered, did the others stretch just as far.  Just how deep was this mine.  A million questions raced in his head at a million miles per hour.  They all came to a screeching halt when he spotted millions of twinkling lights on the walls of the tunnels.  Diamonds! In excitement, he reached into his cart and pulled out his pick ax.  He then ran to a wall and started to free the shining rock.  Should he tell Naiya that he found some?  He looked around and scrutinized the walls.  Although there were a great many of them, he predicted that it would only be enough of them to fill his squeaky cart.  Her or him? He gripped his ax tighter and continued to mine.  He made a vow to himself long ago that if it ever came down to him or someone else, he would always pick himself, and he sure as hell was not about to break that vow now.  After all, that was the way he knew the world to work.  It was a dog-eat-dog way of life; eat or be eaten; survival of the fittest.  She would understand, after all, the two of them did have a lot in common, and she probably would do the same thing if she was in his shoes.  Besides, she probably found diamonds in her side of the tunnel anyway, so why bother?  He was so lost in thought that he didn’t realize two hours had past and he had already halfway filled his cart.  

Naiya wandered down the dark tunnel in hopelessness.  Her pale, now sullen face scanning the area hoping to spot at least one small diamond.  She had been walking for what- two hours now by her estimation- and still had not found a single rock.  What if she never found any and had to stay and slave away in the night to meet her quota.  She couldn’t stand the dark.  The dark held too many horrors and terrible memories for her, but she kept her fears hidden quite well.  Her mind wandered to Azazel.  Has he found any diamonds yet and would he tell her if he did?  Part of her answered yes and the other part answered no.  She didn’t really put her trust into anyone, Mark and Kat being the exception.  She always said that all she needed was herself and her two sisters and they were the only people she could depend on.  Now here came a guy who felt the same way.  They were a lot alike, so did that mean that they would be able to trust each other.  Possibly.  She thought about turning back and going down the other tunnel, but what if there were more diamonds down this path.  If she turned back she would never make her quota before ‘clock-out’ time.  She stopped dead in her tracks to ponder.  Should she turn back and see if Azazel found anything, or keep going and hope that she found some.  Wait, she thought, she could still make her quota if Azazel found some.  But…  

After about a minute, she decided that she would keep going for a little longer and if she still didn’t find anything she’d go back and meet up with Azazel and hope that he had better luck than she.  She trodded on in the darkness still having a little bit of hope that she would find at least a few diamonds before ‘clock-out’.  Thinking of the consequences of not doing so gave her that much more determination to succeed.  She did not wanna have to explain to ‘Momma’ why she failed to meet her quota.  No food for the rest of the week and she would be stuck in the intense blanket of darkness mining for the illusive rocks.  Keep going, she told herself.  Keep going.  You’ll find some soon.  She repeated the words in her head as she kept on the dark path.


© 2017 Asir Y.R

Author's Note

Asir Y.R
Here's chapter 2. Hope you like it and tell me what you think! :) I know it's a little rushed but I'll try to fix that and add more details so you can get a clear picture :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register


Ias much as the first sentence was good, i had to laugh at seeing my name in the middle of it. You gave good, clear descriptives in the whole of the paragraph. Though one of the sentences could be shortened a little, the overall paragraph was nicely done.
Good, strong opening dialogue on the second paragraph.
Take out 'if that was humanly possible' bit. The reason why i say this, is because it spoils the flow of the preceding sentence AND the brilliantly put together paragraphs which come before it....really good word crafting and you grammar skills were of a high standard.
Where you mention 'they strolled deeper and deeper into the darkness' - take out one of the 'deeper' words. The reason being is because it doesnt quite look right.
Also take out one of the 'million' words - word it like this - questions raced through his mind at a million miles an hour.

The above are just suggestions, by all means use them, by all means ignore them. Nevertheless, i have always been a fan of your work and i can see the amount of effort which has gone into this. I for one appreciate that effort as i know how hard it is to produce such pieces. I can see all the little details which are now coming into your pieces, and thats a good sign that the writers word craft is growing.

Hold your head up high Raysira.

Another great piece and i will be back for more.


Posted 1 Year Ago

Asir Y.R

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much Matrixmark. I really appreciate your review

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


1 Review
Added on December 23, 2016
Last Updated on January 2, 2017
Tags: slightly comedic, solemn, Dark


Asir Y.R
Asir Y.R

Lorman, MS

I'm just the lonely writer expressing her thoughts through the art of the written word. I find that writing and art to be a special way to express myself in a forum with people who are like mysel.. more..

Introvert Introvert

A Poem by Asir Y.R